A wee cry

It might be useful to have a stress measuring device - like a pressure indicator - so that I could check and know when there is a need to 'blow off steam' somehow. I feel that throughout this morning, my stress level has been climbing - partly because I had down for this morning a single task, which I haven't even started, because other, more pressing tasks, have got in the way. Partly the problem is that I spent most of yesterday attending a funeral - but even if I'd been here, I wouldn't have made much better progress. Part of the problem, also, is that I am supposed to be co-operating with a colleague on this task, and he isn't the easiest of people to work with (and I certainly don't need his help at this stage, which makes it especially difficult).

A new location
The RNIB offices - the cafe a vis; my first glimpse of the new parliament building (which extends across what used to be a road).

Visual Blogger again - worth a try ...

Struggling

A step at a time; a day at a time. Duty this afternoon. A trip to the RNIB offices this evening. Waiting to hear whether a few of us would be welcome at a colleague's mother's funeral.

Why won't BloGTK let me put in a title?

Never mind. I don't suppose that it would have been a particularly happy title. But to-day, let's build upon what was endured yesterday. If I'm angry, be glad that others, including Martyn Joseph, are angry also. And if I'm sad, let me try to help those who are sad.

How?

What's the ... point?

Wonderful. We now have roaming profiles. A profile which follows us around. But suppose we have to login simultaneously at two computers. We are careful. One computer is our primary computer, the other is our secondary computer. We never allow the secondary computer to overwrite the profile maintained by the primary computer. Except when we're tired. Maybe it should be a rule - when people are tired, they get to go home. Period. No questions. No problem.

Here we go - BloGTK (which doesn't seem to do titles), but which works from Linux ...

Struggling

I've done some work - though what good it will do me, I don't know. I feel that to-day I have to concentrate on tasks which are purely technical (avoid politics!). Whether to-morrow I shall have the stomach to tackle the jobs I'm avoiding to-day remains to be seen.

By his bootstraps

He pulls hard at his bootlaces. But no vertical movement.

Crying

This is serious. We go forward, not back. Upward, not downward. Into the sunshine, not stay in the dark.

How?

I'm going to make a habit of this

This will be my safety valve. My honesty channel.

I am at work to-day, because I have to be. The week-end wasn't restful, it was stressful. I was tired on Friday night. I was even more tired on Sunday night. Life is a steady eating into resources which I simply cannot spare. People want, they don't want to give.

I love Lesley, and I'm sorry that we haven't been able to make her birthday special. A cake sounds like an idea. I need to make this a quiet lunch hour.

Let's keep trying Visual Blogger. It seems as if it's going to do a title.
I've typed in a title. But it doesn't show up on the blog.

A prayer answered

w.bloggar does do titles.

But this is where we have to get serious. I'm not blogging for fun. I'm trying to sort myself out. And here is where I expect to be the most honest.

Next year, I shall turn fifty. It's about time that I tried to resolve some of the questions which have tripped me up just about every day since I was twenty (and younger). Like - who invented Monday mornings? I started work at 09:15 this morning. It is now approaching 11:45 (two and a half hours later), and I still (being honest) have achieved nothing. I've pootled around - maybe, yes, if I started now, it would still take me two and a half hours to reach the point where I could seriously start to diminish the height of the 'to-do mountain'. I seem to have circled around the blogging tools, and arrived back with w.bloggar. Which is fine. And, if a title really does appear, then I shall be over the moon, and truly grateful.

But, I've been in some bad places too. Websites which, in current parlance, are not 'worksafe'. Why do I go there? Let's not go there again.

And turn back to what I should be doing. Working. Supporting users (note - 'supporting users', not 'rolling out the managed desktop', or 'rolling out eDiary', or whatever). But what users want my support? And what is the right way to give it to them?

It becomes a three-way contest - w.bloggar, BlogJet, and now Visual
Blogger.

Misery

People who exert authority drive me mad. But what can I do?

When the day comes ...

... shall I be too exhausted to enjoy it?

The valley of the shadow of death

Maybe over the top. But I am not looking forward to this afternoon. I have to represent my employers' viewpoint. But I am not in sympathy with it. And I am not too sure what contribution I can make this morning.

From darkness to light

Let's be as positive as we can. This is a difficult time. The students are returning. Services are expected to be running. People are not necessarily familiar with what they have to do.

I'm tired, and stressed.

A voice crying in the wilderness

Sadly, this may be the last entry with BlogJet. My 30 days' trial is nearly 'up', and unless I decide to buy, I shall have to let this piece of software go. Maybe I'm being silly. For some reason, I don't particularly like the toolbar icons. And I've spent quite enough money this month already.

I believe in God. I have no good reason to complain. Yet my continual song is "I want to commit suicide." I don't suppose that I mean it, but why does it surface so frequently? Do I find the frustrations, difficulties, and challenges of ordinary life simply too much to cope with? Do I not think that living is worthwhile? Is there something in particular causing me to be unhappy?

A sad entry, I'm afraid.

There is always the plain and simple way to add a blog entry - by logging in at blogger.com.

So, here I am. V. tired. Yesterday spent a long time waiting to see a doctor on behalf of my daughter. And, to-morrow my son is to have a minor operation.