Sunday, September 28, 2008
But for me, personally, I didn't know what to think. My encounter with GH Hardy happened when I was contemplating studying mathematics at university, and a maths teacher suggested that I read his book. To a young person, wanting to find something useful to do with his life, GH Hardy's comment wasn't exactly encouraging ...
Saturday, September 27, 2008
My mother can be somewhat critical when observing the tidiness of house and garden - well, we've done our best ...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
But I didn't post, and we've had our team meeting, and I've had my lunch, and I've enjoyed listening to some Brahms (the 2nd, 3rd and 4th movements of his 1st symphony). I don't suppose that I'm coping any better, but I'm feeling happier ...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The great moment, of course, is the achievement of the summit, often coinciding with time to consume our packed lunches. But I'm thinking also of the mid morning break, on the shoulder of the hill, perhaps the cars still in sight, tiny, far below. Between two worlds - the demanding, complicated world of normal life - and the bracing otherness of the high plateau ...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Many years ago, I attended some kind of gospel rally in the Music Hall, Aberdeen. Where the speaker made some comment about how much more valuable was the event taking place than what usually happened in the Music Hall. And I was thinking - the event which I had previously attended (most recently) at that venue was a symphony concert. Did he really have the right to claim that what he was presenting was significantly better than the moving, uplifting, edifying concert I'd been to a few weeks before?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I'm being more candid than I usually am, inspired by my friend Ian's reference to the story of Hannah Modra. I know someone who (perhaps not unexpectedly) took her own life. And I am constantly aware of my own inner darkness - to-day so out of tune with the day's brightness.
And this isn't a 'poor me' post. I know how fortunate I am, and am truly thankful. It's just - perhaps mostly tiredness - I don't know ...
And I would add my prayers to Ian's. I'm back remembering the Shack, and that papa (God) loves us with such a gentle love, past understanding ...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
And I'm quite pleased to have my Saturday mornings back. Last year, our daughter attended a ballet class which involved me in driving her there, driving back home, trying to do something useful in the intervening period, and driving out again to bring her home. Her ballet class this year is midweek, which brings its own challenges, but has allowed me to sit at the computer this morning to make some inroads on the pile of family and home admin. Trying to be realistic - I don't want to spend the day at the computer, but hopefully over time the height of the physical pile of papers sitting in my in-tray here will diminish ...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
And I did manage to put on the blinkers, and tackle just one job, not completing it, but, hopefully, moving it along. The fear is, of course, that those jobs which I had to lay aside now bite me. In my home life, given the opportunity, I can usually work my way forward, one task at a time, through a myriad of tasks. It's more difficult at work, where I have less control, and people have a habit of criticising me for not doing something, when I was doing something else. I should be able to defend myself, but I don't always know who's right. Asperger's again, to some extent, I guess ...
Anyway, better get on. Thanks, again!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
It's mid morning. Work is impossible. But if I go to my boss and say that work is impossible, that will intensify the crisis. And the only relief that it will bring will be that the tasks will be redistributed. And I shall have failed again.
I can try, as is my usual practice, having surveyed the mess, to tackle one job. Move that job, hopefully, one step nearer to completion. While being acutely aware that other jobs will be waiting. And with the prospect of desk duty this afternoon. Where I can sometimes actually help with, on a good day, 10% of the calls.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Why do I blog? I, too, battle depression. I sometimes think of my blog posts as waypoints. If I blog early in the day, it is to put down a marker; if late, it is generally to try to identify a positive aspect to the day. Perhaps it is best to think of John Bunyan's Slough of Despond (is it pronounced 'ow' or 'uff'? I always wonder), and of the traveller making the best route that he can.
Friday, September 12, 2008
And as I drove home this evening (after dropping my daughter at Focus in Prestonpans), whoever orchestrates the sky was surpassing him (or her) self - in one direction a glorious sunset, in the other what looked like part of a rainbow ...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Another book I am reading is Alan Jamieson's A Churchless Faith. I am impressed by how sympathetically he describes the questioning which some people go through when they find that their received faith is inadequate.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Monday, September 08, 2008
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Leaving soon for the cinema, to see Clone Wars with my son. My presbyterian soul feels that I should be in church, but since my son regularly elects not to attend church, and therefore one of us (his parents) stays at home to be with him, I don't think that my guilt feelings are appropriate.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
I've been listening to Beethoven's 9th symphony. Inspiring stuff. I have a set of CDs of the Beethoven symphonies performed by the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic, conducted by Sir Charles Mackerras. Clean, satisfying performances. What struck me about the last movement of Beethoven's 9th (the famous choral finale) was how different the climaxes were from, for example, those in Mahler's symphonies. The late romantics build up to their climaxes, whereas Beethoven's seem to come from nowhere, like water bursting through a breached dam.