Saturday, October 06, 2012

actually

a good day / cut lots of grass / not too short, because this should be the last cut before the winter, and I'm sure that the grass does better if it hasn't been traumatised ...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

powerful music

not my usual Sunday blogging haunt, but just to say that on Friday I was privileged to attend an event at Coda in Edinburgh / Karine Polwart has brought out a new CD, and was singing some songs / we were packed in like sardines / it was live music, in every sense ...

Saturday, May 05, 2012

shopping

has to be done ...

Sunday, April 15, 2012

pondering

fear, and faith / fear is unavoidable, natural / faith would seem to drive out fear / or is that a myth / david, facing goliath had faith in God, he also had a pretty good idea of what he was going to do, and would have been confident of his own ability to carry out his plan / you might almost say that his faith in God was incidental / in complete contrast to the situation some of us find ourselves in / we don't have a plan, we don't believe that we are capable, yet we are told to have faith in God ...

Friday, April 13, 2012

friday

one working day, then the weekend ...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

nothing changes

for the better ...

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

it's wrong

I have Asperger's, I have difficulty socialising / but that's no reason to leave me on my own trying to do a job which requires (at least) two people ...

Monday, April 09, 2012

back to work

with a plan, if it goes pear shaped ...

Friday, March 30, 2012

demob happy

a whole week off / coming up ...

Thursday, March 29, 2012

why

don't I just say that this is unacceptable / I'm being routinely left on my own to do a job which requires at least two people (it isn't just about the number of calls, it's about the fact that some of them are urgent, some require planning, most involve people who are for some reason upset) ...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

downtime

really would have preferred not to be working to-day / but there would then be nobody in that office ...

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

lurgy

no longer struggling into work - let's see if a day at home helps ...

Monday, March 26, 2012

here

I didn't want to provoke a crisis / better (maybe) to be under par, but working, than to be at home, and to have twice as much to do to-morrow ...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

sick

if I'm not better than this by to-morrow morning, then I shan't be going into work / even though there was only going to be the one of me there ...

Saturday, March 24, 2012

eScape

it's tempting to contemplate a computer free weekend, but hardly practical, when calendars, timetables, bank accounts, and communication all seem to require internet access ...

Friday, March 23, 2012

crisis

if what I've planned (for to-day) is successful, we move on / if not, I simply don't know what happens ...

Thursday, March 22, 2012

frightened

moved towards a couple of resolutions, yesterday, but still there's an underlying fear ...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

organisation

even where the desk is almost bare, apart from a computer, need to do preliminary work before I can start being productive ...

Monday, March 19, 2012

breathing space

it may not be possible, but it is required ...

Saturday, March 17, 2012

psalm 104:1a

bless the Lord, o my soul ...

Friday, March 16, 2012

friDay

the only difference, I guess, being that whatever challenges we face to-day can be laid aside for two days, subsequently ...

Thursday, March 15, 2012

breakfast

a cooked breakfast in a canteen / a luxury, I guess / helps to start the day ...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

longevity

at least, blogger is still here (was that a dangerous thing to say?) ...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

change of place

induces tiredness ...

Monday, March 12, 2012

positivism

can't do this ...

Saturday, March 10, 2012

my thanks

especially to ian / got through the day (though next week should be busy, helping all of the people who kindly cut me some slack) / and appreciated some downtime to-day ...

Friday, March 09, 2012

likelihood

of breaking down to-day is pretty high ...

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

hope

that in crises, God will resource ...

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

fragile

vulnerable, coping, so far ...

Monday, March 05, 2012

uncomfortable fame

a suspicious death in the town where I live ...

Friday, March 02, 2012

that was yesterday

if anything, to-day promises to be worse ...

Thursday, March 01, 2012

tired, angry

but with no options ...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

weary

always being challenged / good, in some ways ...

Monday, February 27, 2012

triumph

just saying / musical youth's 'wizard of oz' was excellent ...

Sunday, February 26, 2012

justice

where to start ...

Saturday, February 25, 2012

taxi

driver ...

Friday, February 24, 2012

doing battle

with malware (I guess, that deciding to rebuild the computer is a sign of losing) ...

Thursday, February 23, 2012

missed a day

ah well (but have managed to stay away from flickr) ...

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

fasting

may give up flickr for Lent ...

Monday, February 20, 2012

worry

endemic ...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

ironic

to be missing church in order to do homework / the topic: a piece explaining one's admiration for Eric Liddell, who refused to take part in a race whose heats were to take place on a Sunday ...

Saturday, February 18, 2012

bright


and to some, beautiful ...
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Friday, February 17, 2012

bye, spot

a cafe where I work is closing ...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

tears

no / anyone looking at me would think that I'm fine (as they say) ...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

silence

can be comforting, or it can be threatening ...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

when

the University suggests that we leave our cars at home, are they willing to absorb the extra 2 hours of travelling time per day ...

Monday, February 13, 2012

shaky

hit a horrible emotional low this morning (probably a combination of loneliness, and trying to get to grips with work again) ...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

but

I don't see how yet another blog is the answer ...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

whether

to stick with this blog ...

Friday, February 10, 2012

breakfast

something to look forward to ...

Thursday, February 09, 2012

sore

flu, I reckon ...

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

positive

tempted to describe to-day negatively - ie not at work / but, positively, I'm taking the family to the dentist (which is a chore) ...

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

detachment

shan't be at work to-morrow / makes to-day an odd sort of day ...

Monday, February 06, 2012

people not saying what they mean

could we have an update / means / why haven't you fixed it ...

(I could spend my whole time updating people, instead of trying to fix problems)

Saturday, February 04, 2012

dreich

actually, given the forecast, quite pleasant, really ...

Friday, February 03, 2012

reflecting

on stress at work / how much is self-imposed ...

Thursday, February 02, 2012

on the other hand

'it seemed like a good idea at the time' isn't a good basis for taking a significant (and probably irrevocable) decision ...

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

scared

but, for once, the change I'm contemplating carries many positives ...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

cold

doesn't encourage the getting up process ...

Monday, January 30, 2012

catch 22

what do other (working) parents do ...

Saturday, January 28, 2012

coaling plant

I think that's what it's called ...
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Friday, January 27, 2012

highs and lows

yesterday evening, I felt quite good / I felt that I'd kept going when the going was difficult, and won through / this morning, I'm right back down in the trough, again ...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

grown men

don't cry ...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

music at lunchtime

it's a lovely idea, but it doesn't work if one is generally stressed (this is in a work context) / which is a pity, because music generally helps to reduce stress / but not when attending a concert is stressful ...

[I think that what I'm trying to say is: attending a concert is beneficial, but (possibly because I have asperger's) the process of attending the concert may be stressful; so, when I am already stressed, I may not be capable of taking on the additional stress of attending the concert, even though the overall result may be an improvement in my mood (but not necessarily, if I'm too stressed about trying to attend a concert in the middle of my working day)]

quiet

for now ...

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

terrified

like walking a tightrope ...

how many times am I going to have to say this

I could be ready to leave within half an hour, and be at work an hour (or more) before 9 o'clock / so, if my conscience is making me feel guilty about, eventually, arriving at my desk well after 9 o'clock / there is nothing that I can do about it ...

Monday, January 23, 2012

darkness

no choice but to take my time / have to take my son to breakfast club ...

Friday, January 20, 2012

rationing

chocolate ...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

why

doesn't God answer ...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

publicity

a recently received email has reminded me that I often make public stuff which some people keep private / I do it carefully, hiding identities, locations (generally) / on the other hand, reading other people's blog posts, I realise how much I gain by their willingness to publish stuff / I guess that it is partly to do with personality / I'm not sufficiently skilled at relationships to share effectively with individuals, so I make the information generally available / if someone picks it up sympathetically, that's great ...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

triggers

perhaps I need to be more aware of what causes me to cease to be the calm, capable person I was last Thursday, and become the panic stricken person I am now ...

Monday, January 16, 2012

update

a modern word / but there are always (at least) two sides ...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

not simple

the language used in church seems to imply that God is in control / that the individual worshipper has peace because he or she trusts in an all-powerful God / but the reality appears to be different / our lives are impacted by people and organisations which do not bow to this all-powerful God / and we just have to do what we can ...

Saturday, January 14, 2012

between

cooking and eating tea, and doing the dishes #rocknroll ...

Friday, January 13, 2012

waiting game

better to be patient, or to make a fuss ...

Thursday, January 12, 2012

victor hugo

peaceful - good / anxious - not so good ...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

alive

but stuck / in a job which I can't do ...

Monday, January 09, 2012

sunshine

but to-morrow / the sun may shine / the bottom line is: I have to work / and I don't think that alternative employment is an option ...

Saturday, January 07, 2012

feeling broken

and depending on the Royal Mail ...

Friday, January 06, 2012

the last day

of the holiday (I'm off on monDay, but that's to cover an in-service day) ...

Thursday, January 05, 2012

not

coping ...

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

burdensome

I'm still the one who has to make things happen ...

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Monday, January 02, 2012

is it worth it

the wife wants to visit gullane (beach) / the son wants to stay at home ...

Sunday, January 01, 2012

so

it's 2012 (has to be better than 2011) ...