discipline

of course, work took up a huge amount of time, and energy ...

in return, of course, my employer paid me ...

how are we going to make this ( retirement ) work ...

time

how did I ever find time / to go to work ...

there is so much to be done / but I am not as desperate / as I was ...

week one

ok, difficult, on the whole ...

putting on a show with encore has been challenging / possibly a good thing, as I deal with being, for the time being, retired // some uncomfortable thoughts / wondering if I should have abandoned musical theatre / and saved the energy // perhaps I could have managed to make the job work // I did try, for a few months ...

personal challenges / family challenges // early days, though ...

mixed feelings

My employer has been running a voluntary severance scheme, and I put my name forward. I was told this week that my willingness to go has been 'approved'. As of the end of this month, I shall be an ex-employee.

minimal

A week to-day, these chimneys ( and the turbine hall ) will be no more. This, too, shall pass ...

sorry

time to reflect / time to say, first: sorry / to acknowledge ( personally ) that my behaviour / has, at times / not been attractive / or entirely respectful towards another person / or people ...

and to base / any hope / that things will improve / on the character of Jesus / who welcomed sinners / and ( in a sense ) still does ...

despair

the word is in the English language for a reason / it means something / which people experience ...

yet ...

sorry, to have disturbed this beautiful bird / but we know that he (or she) found another spot / and renewed her hunt / for a delicious fish ...

spring

as life returns ...

ten years

I guess that I haven't made much sense / and it's time to call it a day ...

Jacob and Esau

where to begin / Jacob I loved, Esau I hated / those who talk about the love of God / who say / as if it were axiomatic / that God loves them / I guess / that they simply ignore / wherever in the bible / this uncomfortable phrase / is to be found ...

those old demons

I guess that you learn whom you can trust. And I know that I can trust Kirsty mcGee - her recent album, Contraband sustained me through a difficult year. And so I eagerly anticipated the new album, Those Old Demons. And it does not disappoint.

My response to music is personal, and you'll have to look elsewhere for a considered review. What I would like to ( try to ) say is this. In this world there is darkness. All kinds of darkness - you don't need me to tell you that. Even, as we look inwards, we see darkness ( some light, hopefully, but we can't deny the patches of shadow ). And I value music that takes on the darkness.

A personal observation. My first thought, on hearing the first song in this album was: this reminds of me of westerns ( the movie genre ). I'm not expert enough to know if this thought was valid, but it's a good enough starting point. You don't defeat the baddies by staying aloof. You get in there. Of course, as a cowboy, eventually, you start shooting. But you have to rub shoulders.

So. We're into advent. Whatever your perspective, this is the time of year when it looks like the darkness is winning. Of course, we know that Christmas is coming. The tide will turn, and the days will start to lengthen, again. Till then, you could do far worse than to buy this album, and find a companion who knows the terrain, and how to roll with the punches ...

again, hope

another rainbow:

hope

during this week / I've read the story of Noah / and the ark, and his family, and the animals / which is usually perceived / as hopeful: a fresh start, for a damaged world / although the events described / were catastrophic ...

to-day / two colleagues are getting married / for everyone / a sign of hope / of a bright future ...

and / on my way home, yesterday, I saw:

texture

autumnal / somehow / trying / to keep the show on the road ...

politics

everyone is involved, now / but I've never liked politics / why can't people just try to work out / what's best for everyone / instead of / arguing / being selfish / lying ...

Scotland remains part of the UK / which must, in some ways, be a good thing / especially for someone with both Scottish and English parents / let's just leave it at that, for now ...

the wrong way round

the plan was to find somewhere to park the car in East Linton / and then to walk along the riverside path to Hailes Castle / where we would eat our (packed) lunches, have a look round / and then return // but we drove through East Linton / then found ourselves on the road to Hailes Castle / where we parked (the car) / and set off towards East Linton ...

the positive outcome of this inversion was that we had ice creams in East Linton / and still managed to have a look round the castle when we returned to where we had parked (the car) / there were swans in the river, by the castle:

desolate

no words / just (yet) another picture:

menace

especially when the dog has been chewing a branch, and gets a piece stuck between her teeth - I'm recovering now (hopefully), from a bout of upset tummy - probably viral ...

will this ever end

another week of crisis management (or mismanagement) at work / and having to force myself, over the weekend, not to think about the stuff (pretty serious) which is unresolved / it's been five years, now (more or less) / I do question, sometimes, whether this life is worth living ...

team Fudge

looking thoughtful ...