defeat

I have tried to believe ( as I have been taught ) ...

late

reflecting / at the end of the day / on truth ... 

what is it / what if something we've believed for ages to be true / turns out not to be ...

peace

sabbath rest / not a destination / but a pause along the way ...

trust

I trusted / God / and the church of scotland / when I volunteered to become treasurer / of this church ...

rest

jesus says / my yoke is easy, and my burden is light ...

excitement

thankful to God, that the car key was found ...

outer darkness

where most of us are headed ...

exhaustion

but / there are still challenges ...

forgive

those who forgive / are forgiven ...

it's been a while

sapphire has taken over my bed / it's been a tiring day / we're nowhere near the hoped for place / where every current task is complete / but, we've done what we could ...

it's ok

but / only just ...

words

not much time / retirement ( if that's what it is ) has not brought leisure ( with possible financial meltdown ) ...

but / it's saturday / and, I have a few minutes ...

words matter ( thinking ahead / to next week's showtime // there are words, there is music, there is movement, there are costumes ) / but / are the words true ...

did Jesus heal people / really ( or / did the gospel writers / pretend that he did / to make their stories more impressive ) // he doesn't, consistently, heal people, nowadays ( the leprosy mission / is staffed / with scientists / not magicians ) ...

are we allowed / to ask questions / or / is, even asking a question / by implication / lacking faith ...

the end

yesterday / I attended / my last / work related / event ( as far as I am currently aware ) ...

but, of course, life goes on ...

discipline

of course, work took up a huge amount of time, and energy ...

in return, of course, my employer paid me ...

how are we going to make this ( retirement ) work ...

time

how did I ever find time / to go to work ...

there is so much to be done / but I am not as desperate / as I was ...

week one

ok, difficult, on the whole ...

putting on a show with encore has been challenging / possibly a good thing, as I deal with being, for the time being, retired // some uncomfortable thoughts / wondering if I should have abandoned musical theatre / and saved the energy // perhaps I could have managed to make the job work // I did try, for a few months ...

personal challenges / family challenges // early days, though ...

mixed feelings

My employer has been running a voluntary severance scheme, and I put my name forward. I was told this week that my willingness to go has been 'approved'. As of the end of this month, I shall be an ex-employee.

minimal

A week to-day, these chimneys ( and the turbine hall ) will be no more. This, too, shall pass ...

sorry

time to reflect / time to say, first: sorry / to acknowledge ( personally ) that my behaviour / has, at times / not been attractive / or entirely respectful towards another person / or people ...

and to base / any hope / that things will improve / on the character of Jesus / who welcomed sinners / and ( in a sense ) still does ...

despair

the word is in the English language for a reason / it means something / which people experience ...

yet ...

sorry, to have disturbed this beautiful bird / but we know that he (or she) found another spot / and renewed her hunt / for a delicious fish ...