stress

just over a week ago, I was aware that the stress I was experiencing at work had the potential to break me. during a sleepless night, I resolved that on Monday, I would make an appointment to see the doctor - I would ask to be signed off for the week - I would let my managers know - and suggest a radical change to my work situation.

on Saturday morning (coincidentally), I met a colleague in B & Q (as you do). during the day, my resolve weakened - if I could get through the week, I then had a week's annual leave, to look forward to.

by Monday, my sore throat was intensifying - I was coughing - coincidentally, the same colleague, also, was coughing. I worked through the day, discovering something, as I did so, that removed some of the pressure (to carry out a particular task), that particular week.

by Tuesday, my sore throat and cough were bad enough that I should stay at home. I emailed in. If anything, by Wednesday, my condition was worse. I was able to see a doctor, who prescribed antibiotics. Thankfully, things are now improving, but I have not been back to work. I still wasn't well enough, yesterday.

so - I've been off work four days - quite properly. I can return to work, a week on Monday - there will be some catching up to do - and some administrative procedures to follow. but, I've been thinking - if I'd followed the original plan - it would have been a big deal - there would have been significant repercussions - possibly, in the long run, a better outcome (I have no way of knowing).

I'm more psychologically broken than physically broken - the doctor's antibiotics are helping me back to physical health - it's a pity that psychological breakages are more difficult to fix ...