disappointment

the last throw of the dice / betting one's shirt / gambling the farm / it's a recognised situation / there are no resources / this is the only way left ...

imagine the joy / the movie's hero / flat out, eyes closed, obviously dead / but, of course, he's not / he's alive ...

or / it's not just about how to solve technical problems / it's about how things are done / it's about people, not machines / but without the technical knowledge, you're floundering / I tried / I gave it my best shot ...

knife edge

Honest to God has a chapter on prayer / in it, John Robinson quotes extensively from George macLeod, founder of the Iona Community / so, what is prayer ...

is it like picking up the telephone, and dialling God / if so, I would contend, we are in for disappointment (that's my experience, anyway) / hi there, God, this is Chas / silence / I'm having a tough time at work / more silence / I wondered if you could give me some advice / yet more silence ...

a bad line, perhaps / maybe he's busy / try again later (I'm reminded of Elijah taunting the prophets of Baal on mount Carmel, as they try desperately to get their god to respond) ...

I think that what John Robinson is suggesting is that everything is prayer / laborare est orare, as we were told at school that the Romans used to say to each other / that, as we wrestle practically with the issues, we find God / I'm not entirely convinced / but it's better than sitting in silence ...

changes

in the 1980's someone who knew about computers was valued / a member of the academic team / we were referred to as 'academic-related' ...

in the 2010's, everyone knows about computers / children teach their parents how to use faceBook / an IT support person is just that / 'support' ...

of course, those who were young men and women in the eighties are now approaching retirement / but what value do they still have?

quietness

another turbulent week / I really am not qualified to write about the events which are well-known / which I know about only through news reports / but, on the other hand, I don't suppose that my personal journey is of much interest to anyone but myself ...

so, for myself, I report / that I have lost my faith / and, possibly, been given it back again / that for a few hours, brave atheism took control / made sense / then, somehow, had to acknowledge / grace / a man, hoisted on a wooden cross / not clear about 'how' (why should we be?) / words from beyond the grave ...

my reading, these days, includes, generally at lunchtimes, the street bible (later editions are called the word on the street), by Rob Lacey / I reached the end of what we call the Old Testament a week ago / now embarking on the story of the Liberator / uncomfortable counterpoint, as I also read through Honest to God (John AT Robinson) / which I think was a worthy attempt to make the gospel acceptable to modern man ...

challenging reading / as I continue to try to navigate difficult waters ...