A crucial week

As I've been told often, a crisis can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. So, looking back on the turmoil of this week, I have mixed feelings. But, to focus on the positive - I have discovered (or, rather, re-discovered) a new resource - Scripture Union's WordLive which means that I no longer feel that I'm trying to haul myself up by my bootstraps. And there's a mobile version, which means that with my web-enabled mobile phone I have access virtually anywhere ...

Where am I?

This is a peculiar darkness ...

Work terrifies me, these days. There is simply too much to do. Perhaps, if I had different skills, I would be able to get other people to perform some of the tasks - but I don't. I've had my second interview with the lady who is trying to decide whether or not I have Asperger's. It's an odd experience. I had to complete a questionnaire which was designed to assess how well I empathise with other people. As I worked through it, I was conscious of how much, throughout my life, people have said to me that the one thing which is more important than anything else is what they generally call love, but which seems to me to be something like empathy. And here I am, being asked - do I empathise? Of course, it feels like a trick question.

So, if, because of who I am, I can't empathise (maybe I can - the doctor seemed to be thinking that I do empathise - but then if I've put so much effort into trying to empathise, surely I have been able to, to some extent - but, then, maybe I've been fooling myself all along). What I'm trying to get my head around is - how can they say that love is everything, if there is a group of people who are unable to love? Except, I suppose, that empathy and love aren't necessarily the same thing.

Picture postcard

It's been an odd day; for a while this afternoon the sun shone, but the sky darkened as threatening clouds moved in, and rain (maybe some hail) began to fall. This, by the way, is our church - more rural than you would expect for the community we live in ...

Getting my head down

Yesterday was a logistical nightmare (and, in the event, a significant achievement) - but highs (in terms of somehow managing it) tend to be followed by lows - and I'm struggling to get useful work done to-day - which is a problem because there's too much to do and too little time (as usual) - so I'm using every tactic available to get my head down and keep working ...

Easter

I've been ironing Hama Beads (I searched for a suitable link, but I can only find people who sell them). Contrary to the forecast, the sun is shining. The visiting cat prefers to stay indoors, however - I guess that it's still cold outside.

Of course, Easter was last week-end, but with it coming so early this year, the children are still on holiday. Life still feels like a struggle to keep our heads above water - it's difficult to think of anything positive to report. We're having new windows and doors fitted, in about 10 days' time. In preparation, the computer has been moved - it now resides in what feels like a good location - the landing in this house has an open space which is like an extra room. And my wife says that she's been sleeping better since the computer was moved upstairs - I wonder if the gentle swishing sound of the fan could be soporific. But it's more difficult for me - my desk is still downstairs - it used to be easy for me to swing round from my desk to the computer whenever something needed to be recorded electronically.

But I am enjoying the more open, brighter space. I guess that this arrangement will stay.

Spring - imminent?

I can't think where I got that idea! It's been so bitterly cold ...

It's been a long week

But to-day did feel as though spring might not be too far away ...

Despatches

In a crowded hall, waiting for the concert to start, my knees cold because my jeans are wet - I had to change a (car) wheel because of a flat tyre ...

But eagerly anticipating a feast of music ...

We're expecting gales

The south and southwest of the UK have been experiencing severe weather, which is reported to be on its way northwards and eastwards.

I wouldn't call this a self portrait, would you?

You can tell that I'm struggling with the 365 Days project when I say that I seriously considering making this to-day's offering.

If to-day hadn't been Friday, I don't know what I would have done

I just had to keep pushing myself, every step of the way.

The break point is never far away

I suppose that from the outside, my continual angst doesn't make sense. Yes, as I drove home this evening, if I had misjudged my position on the road at the wrong moment, I could have been involved in a head-on collision, and be in no state to be writing this. It feels as though we are living on the edge, but I don't suppose that we are.

Tummy bug

A day at home, never far from a toilet ...

I just wish that I could reach a place where, even just for a while, everything that needs to have been done has been done, and I can just relax. Now, I relax at times, when I have to, but just to recuperate, so that I can get back to catching up - always catching up.

God smiled at me!

He was standing on his head.

A religious Sunday

I've been to church twice to-day, and we (the children and I) went swimming this afternoon, so it's been a pretty full day.

Flaming Nora

We were at a ceilidh last night. The band was Flaming Nora; the event was a fundraiser for Fischy Music.

Sunset

Through the window of a number 30 bus

Strange Sunset

Still looking out for spring

But, of course, we are still in the middle of February; I shouldn't have been surprised by the cold fog which engulfed us this morning and this evening.

Winding down

I gave the third of three presentations this afternoon. As I've just said to my wife, it has seemed for the past three weeks or so that my life has been on hold. I wonder just to what extent my physical debility has had a psychological component.

So I'm picking up the threads. To-morrow morning, the surveyor comes to measure up for the new doors and windows we've ordered. To-day, I picked up the car after it had passed (with some work) another MoT. And to-morrow, of course, is St Valentine's Day.