Balaam, continued

I'm forced to stick with Balaam for another day, and to try to answer my own question. If I'm on God's side, then perhaps I could interpret the incident with the donkey as God trying to teach Balaam a lesson. Perhaps God knew Balaam better than we do, and reckoned that his earlier instruction to Balaam needed some reinforcement.

Does God speak to us to-day? If he does, how does he do it?

Whose side was he on?

Balaam appears to refer to God as my GOD. Whenever I've read this story, he's come across as a God-fearing man, whom God messes around, telling him to do something, and then sending an angel to block his way. Is God really as tricksy as he is depicted here?

Rest

One of my favourite passages in the bible is Jesus' invitation to rest. It seems to me that we so quickly lose sight of these words. Jesus is unequivocal - come to me and rest. Why do we allow the purveyors of God (as I believe Stewart Henderson calls them somewhere) to dupe us? How often do we hear the message - you're not trying hard enough? Even when it isn't spelt out, it's often implied.

Jesus says - come to me and rest. We obey him most truly when we rest in him - in his love, in his grace, in his protection, in his wisdom, in his guidance, in his provision, in his tender concern.

Grace

This morning, I read the story of the bronze serpent; Jesus refers to this incident during his conversation with Nicodemus. I suppose that what really appeals to me about this story, and Jesus' application of it, is that it is unequivocal. If you've been bitten by a snake, just look at the bronze representation of the snake and you will be healed. If the world has you in its grip, then just look at Jesus (ah, but what, exactly, does that mean?) and you will be set free.

Eugene Peterson renders Jesus' words: everyone who looks up to him, trusting and expectant, will gain a real life, eternal life. Here, surely, we have blessed assurance.

The still small voice

How can you hear a still small voice when there's a great big voice saying you have to get through 5 chapters to-day? (Talking of still small voices - by the wonders of technology I am sitting in my office listening to the slow movement of Schubert's String Quintet broadcast by Radio 3.)

Yesterday (technically at 2 o'clock this morning) the great journey - one bible in one year - came to an untimely end.

Prophecy

Matthew 24 narrates a complicated conversation. Maybe the disciples' question: "Tell us," they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?" confuses two happenings, and Jesus just wasn't interested in separating them. It seems to me that sometimes Jesus talks about what happened in AD 70, and that sometimes he talks about what is yet to happen.

How, as Christians, should we expect to be viewed? As I write, the world of Islam is upset over some cartoons published in a Danish newspaper. Not long ago, Christians in this country were upset over a programme broadcast by the BBC. I did not watch the programme, nor have I seen the cartoons. Jesus predicts that his followers will be vilified. These are complicated matters.

What impresses me is the seriousness of Jesus' words. He doesn't foretell an easy road.

It gets difficult

The entry I would have posted is here; Blogger was down, for some reason.

I'm getting just a bit angry about this project. In some ways, I'm getting the hang of it. If I spread out the day's readings, it's easier, and I'm probably getting more benefit. If I try to read all 4 passages on the journey into work, I may have a sense of achievement, but also mental indigestion. But (and it sounds terrible) I dread the week-end, because I know that I shall fall behind.

I don't look forward to hearing Sunday's sermon, even though it's supposed to cover the week's readings. How can one sermon possibly begin to answer the myriad questions jostling for attention? I could do with ongoing support. I could make more use of the One Year Bible Blog, but I would rather read the passage before seeing the commentary, and, because the One Year Bible Blog is always up-to-date, I can't guarantee that that will happen.

So I have to think about what to write. These notes are a kind of self-help. But do people really want to read the anguish that some passages cause? People suggest that to read through a gospel is a wonderful experience. I suppose that they consciously avoid identifying with the rich young ruler, or the improperly dressed wedding guest. Compared with the majority of people in this world, I am materially well-off. And I don't know whether, in the day of judgement, my deeds will stand up to scrutiny (if that's the meaning of the man being without the clothes he should have been wearing).

Maybe God wanted me to write about staffs. Encounter with God had me reading this morning about Aaron's staff which budded, and then we read in Exodus 17:8-16 about a battle whose outcome depended upon Moses holding his staff high in the air. But what hope do these stories offer to the ordinary Christian? Aaron's staff budded because he was chosen, and the other tribal leaders weren't. At least, the choice was who would be leader, not who would go to heaven, and who would end up in hell. But what of the people fighting the Amalekites? They succeeded or failed, not because they fought well, or bravely, or cleverly, but because somebody else was keeping his hands in the air.

Provision and challenge

Quails, manna, a branch to make water drinkable, water from a rock; God provides for his people. Are they grateful? Apparently not.

If God can supply food and water for more than 600,000 people wandering in the wilderness, should we worry, individually, where the next meal is coming from? Life can be hard, embarrassing, exhausting.

Perhaps we need to step back occasionally. God will provide.

Chilling words

Matthew 21:43 (NIV): Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit. I started reading this morning of the people of Israel on the brink; the Red Sea before them, the avenging Egyptians behind. It is, I believe, commonplace to regard the crossing of the Red Sea as the birth of the nation of Israel. They were to be a people with a mission, as our rector preached on Sunday. They were to be an example to the other nations. The rector went on to suggest that the followers of Jesus are tasked with the same mission - to be different (in a good way, I guess).

But Jesus' words to the chief priests and the elders of the people seem to indicate that Israel has failed in her mission. He is speaking to the religious authorities, not to the people in general. What would he say to-day - to the rulers of to-day's Christian church - to the ordinary people of to-day's Christian church?

When Jesus challenged the religious authorities to state their view of John's baptising, they replied "we don't know." Did they really not know? Do we know?

Surgical strike

There is something very 21st century about the Passover. I can imagine a squadron poised, ready to attack, smart missiles armed. But if we, in the 21st century, believe that God disapproves when we go to war, how do we regard the events described in Exodus 12 and 13? It makes dramatic reading. The Passover meal is a reminder that the LORD brought us out of Egypt with his mighty hand. As Christians we believe that Christ on the cross has delivered us from the power of evil; we have been set free. Of course, it was Jesus himself who suffered on the cross; he did not inflict suffering.

On our journey, the cross lies ahead. The mystery with which we grapple to-day is of a God who was prepared to cause unimaginable suffering in order to set his own people free.

Plagues

Why does God send plagues on Egypt? To punish them? To demonstrate his power? To whom?

At least partly, I guess that he wanted to show the Israelites how powerful he is. It happens that this morning, courtesy of Scripture Union's Encounter with God, I read from the book of Numbers how the Israelites, reacting to the reports brought back from the so-called Promised Land, were frightened, too afraid to take possession. I don't know where I would have stood in that debate, but you would have thought that people who had watched the frogs, the gnats, the flies, the thunder, and the hail, would have had greater confidence. What God did to the Egyptians, he could have done again to the Amalekhites, and others. Or did they sense that this time God was expecting them to do the job themselves?

Tactics

Nearly a month into 2006, I am beginning to get an idea of the rhythm of this daily progression. Weekdays, I make use of bus journeys to and from work, and also breaktimes, particularly lunchtimes. Week-ends are a different story, and it can be difficult to achieve the desired quota on Saturdays and Sundays. A pattern, therefore, of catching up during the week, is beginning to emerge.

This week, I've been debating whether I should attempt to go ahead towards the end of the working week. Indeed, I could make it my aim to be routinely a day (or more) ahead, lessening the likelihood of becoming seriously behind. The picture, naturally, is of a group of walkers. I could be in the vanguard, or even strike out on my own. I think that I know the way, but not necessarily the dangers of the trip. I could try to stay in amongst the main group, in theory benefitting from the companionship of other journeyers. Or I could be tail-end Charlie, often my place on real walks. I am a reasonably strong walker, and I believe that taking up the hindmost place enables me to round up stragglers, and prevent the situation of someone being left behind.

I felt uncomfortable reading ahead, as I was able to on Friday. I think that it is valuable to be able to come to the end of the allotted day's readings, and be able to relax. If I seek to be ahead, then the pressure is never fully off. I could always be further ahead. So, I resign myself to what is becoming an established pattern. By Thursday, I am probably on track, but by the following Monday, it becomes again an uphill struggle.

So, here I am on Saturday morning, having yet to start on to-day's reading.

It gets personal

Yesterday, I took a decision. I had prayed about it, I had discussed it with my wife, and implemented the decision. Then I read Proverbs 5:7-14, and felt convicted. The passage is rather long to quote here, but the closing verse, I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly, will give you a flavour. Perhaps my prayers were less focussed than they might have been, because another matter had claimed my attention. Perhaps God's intention was not to condemn, but to warn - but why would he issue a warning after the event? Perhaps his meaning is - be careful. Perhaps the step I had taken was not of itself disastrous, but it was taking me into dangerous waters (mixing my metaphors a bit), and I needed to be aware of what could happen. Perhaps I have an over-sensitive conscience, already on edge because I had been weighing up the pros and cons of this decision.

Cause and Effect

It seems that I was a little premature announcing my arrival at the last verse of Genesis. I have since been reading a coda, taking us to the end of Joseph's life, and including Joseph's famous saying to his brothers: (Genesis 50:20) You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Or did God plan the famine, for the purpose of raising Joseph from the dungeon to the palace of Egypt?

And what are we to make of Jesus' assertion in Matthew 16:28: I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom. Did he mistakenly believe that he would return (as Christians to-day believe that he will one day return) within the lifetimes of some of his hearers?

The first milestone

We have reached the end of the book of Genesis. And what a mighty fine peroration it ends with! Jacob blessing his sons - the names, of course, being the names of the tribes of Israel. And the human touch, where Jacob insists on blessing Ephraim, the younger, with a greater blessing than Manasseh, the first born.

Passing over the first born seems to be a theme in Genesis. Isaac is preferred to Ishmael; Jacob over Esau; and Judah over Reuben. At a certain stage of my life, I became quite paranoid about this, being myself the first born of three brothers. It doesn't help that somewhere in the New Testament Esau is blamed for losing his birthright, whereas the story here suggests that Jacob both took advantage and deceived. Perhaps Esau didn't value something which he should have cared about, until it was too late, but I would have liked to see, somewhere, direct condemnation of Jacob for what, surely, amounted to theft. Or is the bible not as clear in its moral stance as we would like to think?

Confrontation

Jesus accuses the Pharisees of making their rules and traditions more important than doing what God requires. It has always seemed strange to me that nowadays the followers of Jesus are expected to go to church, thus aligning themselves with the Pharisees' obvious successors? What distinguishes the hierarchy of to-day's mainstream denominations from the religious authorities of Jesus' day?

Food

Everybody loves food. Yes? In our household, food is surrounded by rules. Some food is good; some food is bad. A person might be allowed to eat a piece of bad food provided that they follow it with a piece of good food. I suspect that there is an emphasis on cleaning teeth, because it wipes away the traces of food - good, but, more importantly, bad. I believe that our son is afraid of food. A typical conversation:

Son: I'm hungry.
Dad: What would you like?
Son: What am I allowed?

When the disciples confronted Jesus with the people's lack of food (in Matthew's gospel), he, in turn, confronted them - you get them food. Impossible, replied the disciples. Then Jesus proceeded to feed the five thousand. Or did he? One of my primary school teachers believed that what happened was that the people shared the food they had brought along. It wasn't a miracle. Or, he would have said, it was a miracle, but, I would say, if so, it doesn't challenge our view of the world. Jesus isn't the only person in history who has changed people's minds. Should we place Jesus and Bob Geldof on the same level?

But if it was a 'real' miracle, how did it happen. Did Jesus produce the food from the folds of his robe? Did the loaves and fishes somehow multiply? Some kind of supernatural process - if we'd looked into the basket, would we have seen each loaf become two loaves, and each of these loaves become two loaves, and so on - and the same for the fishes?

Or do we treat the story as magical? Maybe it didn't happen. Maybe Matthew's gospel is to be read like Harry Potter - a clever work of fiction. Maybe it's exaggeration. Or maybe something, to us, incredible, happened.

What are we looking for?

An overview of an important religous book? It could be argued that the bible isn't a book, it's a collection of books. So what do we gain by reading through them all in the course of a year? Is it pride? So that I can boast? Or is it that I want to have read the bible for myself, perhaps to decide whether my teachers have been telling the truth? Am I automatically going to get a balanced view by reading through the whole bible, instead of focussing on selected texts, according to Sunday's preacher, or the church lectionary, or my bible reading notes?

Certainly, reading through Genesis at this rate confers a broad sweep - the story-telling shines through. It's pleasant just to read it as a story - not always trying to find a lesson. Again, there's the sense of pieces of a jigsaw fitting together. Countries previously explored as separate entities understood as belonging to a single continent.

A work in progress.

A meditation

Reading Psalm 16, I am conscious of a certain danger. As we rush through the bible intent on meeting our daily targets, are we truly reading as we read?

What is David trying to say? That God is great? That God, in modern parlance, rocks? Yes, but why? "You will not let your holy one see corruption," familiar to those who know Handel's "Messiah", gives a warm feeling inside, but what does it mean?

Conflict

The Pharisees aren't happy with Jesus. They accuse him of working on the Sabbath. In most parts of the UK, Sunday working has become the norm - not for the people who follow the Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 routine, but for shop assistants, bus drivers, restaurateurs. But when I was a student the Christian Union made a point of advising us that our lives would be improved if we didn't study on Sundays. Does that mean that the CU were behaving like Pharisees?

Coming back to earth

Martyn certainly made Saturday night an unforgettable experience. There seem to be so many interpretations of the bible; I reckon that Martyn's songs echo biblical themes. Perhaps he is one of to-day's prophets.

But we've a long way to go until we actually encounter these prophets (in the Old Testament). I find it quite difficult, skipping from Genesis to Matthew and back again. And it's harder at week-ends, because there isn't an obvious time to sit down and read. In Matthew, we've moved on to some miracles; somewhat unsettling. I have to be quite simple and clear - the kind of events described here, where Jesus just has to take someone's hand, and they are cured, do not belong in my experience. Maybe they do happen to other people, but they haven't happened to me, and (sadly), this raises an element of doubt as to whether they happened then. Even if I do believe in them, it has to be on a different level, saying something like - I suppose that these things did happen, because otherwise the gospels are untrustworthy, but I can't accommodate them into my thinking - my understanding of these miracles is abstract, not concrete. Sorry to be negative, but this is a fundamental issue. We are taught (at least, I have been taught) that it is a moral imperative to believe, which cuts across our normal processes of consideration.

No doubt, to be continued.

From the trenches

The White Church, Comrie. Between acts. Martyn should be on in a few minutes. An interesting drive here. Anticipation. (Note: this post will probably take a day or so to appear.)

Close relations

Abraham married his father's daughter (Gen 20:12); Nahor (Abraham's brother) married his own niece (Gen 11:29); Isaac married his uncle's granddaughter (Gen 22:20-23); and here's Jacob marrying his first cousins! The bible is often touted as a handbook for living - I hope that this lot isn't to be regarded as an example to follow. But it is nice to see Jacob getting his just deserts - after tricking his father and Esau, he in turn is neatly tricked by Laban.

Using AvantBlog

I would really like to maintain this journal "on the go", so I'm trying again with AvantBlog (http://www.dentedreality.com.au/avantblog/). This post is just a quick test to see if it works.

A psalm a day

Well, not quite, obviously - 150 psalms - 365 days - looks more like a third of a psalm a day.

Surely, life-enriching. And comforting, especially to-day's reading from Psalm 10, which reminds us that God is on the side of the oppressed.

This is difficult

What is the impact of the Sermon on the Mount? I sometimes wish that I hadn't been brought up as a churchgoer, that, maybe in my late teens, or twenties, I could have read the Sermon on the Mount, and heard it as, I guess, Jesus' hearers heard it on that day in the first century (if, indeed, Jesus did preach it as a sermon, and it isn't somebody's compilation of Jesus' teachings). If there is a single theme, I guess that it is that what we think matters just as much, perhaps more than, what we do.

It isn't enough not to have murdered anybody, an insult counts for just as much. It isn't enough not to have gone to bed with somebody else's wife (or girlfriend?), a glance may be culpable. It doesn't count for anything to have given a fortune to charity, if it was done with the intention of impressing the general public. On the positive side, Jesus advocates a life of trusting God in everything (but what does he mean in practice - God doesn't issue minute by minute instructions). And we shouldn't be judging other people.

I don't know. I could examine my life, verse by verse in the light of the Sermon on the Mount. I could stop right now; this has happened to me before when trying to read through a gospel; I get so far, and I just have to stop, because I've read something which demands closer attention. This is a real crisis - do I call it a day, and say that I need more time to consider the challenge of what I've already read - or do I press on, hoping that things will become clearer as I proceed?

Parallel journeys

Or Parallel Roads. Definitely becoming a predominant theme. Especially because we're taking not one journey through the bible, but rather 4 simultaneous journeys, through the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Psalms, and Proverbs. Which makes it quite impossible to provide a comprehensive report in every blog post.

Somehow, the early chapters of Genesis are holding my attention the most (maybe because the first reading is always from the Old Testament journey - which maybe, right now, isn't the best way to be tackling things - the Sermon on the Mount, surely, doesn't belong in second place). One thing that I've noticed, regarding myself, is that my rate of reading has slowed. The initial tendency to race through the pages, thinking "I know this already", has gone, and in its place there is an inclination to savour the words, letting the descriptions conjure up pictures, allowing the scene to be formed in my mind's eye. I'm thinking of Abraham bargaining with the Hittite elders, for a burial place for Sarah, the text reminding us over and over again that everything is being said 'in public'. Or Abraham's servant watching Rebekah tend to his camels, wondering, "Is she the one?"

Of course, I'm not ignoring the central, major statement of Jesus' teaching. It so happens that Scripture Union's Encounter with God readings are also working through the Sermon on the Mount, at a rather more leisurely pace, giving me some cause for thought.

Just testing

Using a different email client, to see if this one avoids the problem (putting in line breaks which are expressly not wanted). Maybe if this post is OK, I'll leave it in. Don't know how many words I need to use to know if the problem has been solved. This is probably enough.
--
Sent using iambic Mail demo.
Visit www.iambic.com for more!!

PS Sadly, I had to edit out the line breaks ...

Two paths

Church this morning. At the back of the church, a box of copies of Hodder's The Bible in One Year. The sermon, mostly on Genesis 1. This is where it began (more or less). But, I was keen to get started on January 1. And Tyndale's One Year Bible is better resourced. I tried to find out from Hodder the readings for the the first couple of weeks, so that I could have read from an ordinary bible until these hard copies arrived. But they didn't answer my email.

I'm maybe making a mountain out of a molehill here. I'm finding the eReader version of Tyndale's One Year Bible an excellent way to make good progress. In theory, I could spend time each week sorting out the readings from Hodder's programme (which looks broadly similar, to begin with, anyway), and then read them on my Palm (using, for example, GMP Soft's superb Bible With You). Or I could carry the hardback of Hodder's Bible in One Year in my rucsac. I believe that, rather, having started I shall finish, and stick with Tyndale. It should be fun, walking an almost parallel road. I shan't be in church every Sunday, and some Sundays I shall be helping with Kidz Klub, so it maybe makes sense to regard the weekly sermon as a bonus instead of relying on it to keep me going. I have a tremendously sad memory of when I attended a church in Aberdeen which was famous for its bible teaching. The minister was preaching through Romans chapter by chapter (having previously spent years preaching through Romans verse by verse), and I was in my mother's house, and I was going to miss one sermon, and was desperate.

Paradoxically, Sunday isn't a good day for finding time to sit down and read. I may have to catch up to-morrow. But I have managed to read the account of Abraham's meeting with three men, one of whom appears to be God. They're going to see whether the people of Sodom are really as bad as they've heard. And Abraham tries to persuade God not to destroy the city, if just ten good people can be found (he starts with fifty, then beats God down to ten). I'm somewhat shocked by the ordinariness of the encounter. In other places, God is so awesomely 'other'. Here, he's just a person. Does this foreshadow Jesus coming among us?

Privacy

Jesus cautions us against doing our good deeds (alms-giving, prayer) to be seen by men. Maybe I'd have been better to have tackled this project (read through the bible in one year) without telling anyone, but I appreciate the support of you guys. Knowing that you're out there helps me to keep going.

Black and white thinking

I've just been struck by the harshness of the writing near the beginning of Proverbs. Wisdom is saying something like: you've chosen not to go my way, so you're doomed. I'm reading a book just now about religious addiction, and realising how at certain times in my life I have probably been a religious addict. But finding the right balance isn't easy. I wonder if someone like Jeremiah might appear to us to be unbalanced.

But I'm getting ahead of myself - I guess that it will be months before we meet Jeremiah. Currently it's just Abram and a strange twilight ritual involving several carcasses, a smoking firepot, and a torch.

Technical difficulties

Having left my work PDA at my mum's, I've resurrected my old HandSpring Visor. I tried loading Olive Tree's version of the One Year Bible, but it crashed several times, and doesn't seem to offer a bookmarking facility, so I'm back using eReader, which is working fine.

I'm even writing this comment on the Visor, finding Graffiti 1 just a mite awkward after TealScript on the Tungsten, and Graffiti 2 on the Zire. But all this techie talk is covering something up - I have nothing to say. We've started the Sermon on the Mount, which many would say forms at least part of the basis of their personal morality, but which I struggle with. I suppose that people just assume that Jesus was exaggerating when he suggested plucking out eyes as a cure for pornography addiction, or cutting off hands to cure a violent temper. So much interpretation.

Was Jesus pointing out the impossibility of living by the rules by our own efforts, and pointing to a solution to be put forward elsewhere? Should we wait until we've read Paul's letter to the Romans before attempting a practical response to Jesus' teaching? But surely the Sermon on the Mount stands by itself?

I don't know what to think. For what it's worth, I believe that Jesus' primary target was hypocrisy. He had no time for people who judged the actions of others, while harbouring intentions equally culpable, but hidden, in their own hearts.

Completing the jigsaw

It's like a jigsaw. Previously, you've only done the interesting bits - the people, or maybe the train. Now, you've resolved to do the whole thing - including the sky. There is a certain satisfaction in seeing how things are connected.

Jigsaws don't always have huge artistic merit. I must admit to not really knowing what to think about these long-lived ancients. It seems that the baddies stand out - Nimrod who seems to be a common ancestor of the Babylonians and the Assyrians - and Ham, father of Canaan. Ham's crime seems to have been that he saw his father, Noah, naked.

There's a lot of ground to cover each day.

Time

I am a great believer in the subconscious: that our brains process things while we're not aware; which raises the question of how long to wait after reading the passages before trying to make a comment.

One real problem is familiarity - especially reading the early chapters of Matthew for possibly the fourth time in as many weeks. I don't think that I am paying proper attention to what I'm reading if I'm saying to myself wearily, "not again."

What went wrong?

I guess that we consider it human nature: if someone tells us not to do something, then that's the one thing we want to do? Not that craven respect for authority is always right.

I don't know if trying to read Genesis and Matthew simultaneously is such a good idea. Matthew refers to prophecies in Isaiah and Jeremiah. Wouldn't it have been better to have read these books first? Not before Genesis, obviously.

Affirmation

God made heaven and earth, as it says at the beginning of Genesis. Not so sure what Matthew is affirming about Jesus - that he is a king, maybe? Why else would his genealogy be so important? And Psalm 1 is full of confidence, that the good person will prosper, and that evil will fail. We'll see.

12 steps

Many years ago, I became interested in the 12 steps followed by recovering alcoholics. I saw similarities with my religious beliefs - some of the ideas seemed to correspond. It's a strange experience to be reading Leo Booth's "When God Becomes a Drug", as he adapts the 12 steps to fit the situation of a religious addict. The argument becomes circular, because admitting that I am powerless to cope with my addiction sounds so much like acknowledging my sin, and that I cannot by myself drag myself out of it. I come again to the sense that Father Leo's understanding of people, and their problems, is exemplary, but his theology isn't too strong. He doesn't seem to be aware of how he is echoing the very pronouncements of the religious 'addicts' he is putting in the wrong. In a sense, he is right - I guess that at least one of the people who significantly influenced my religious development (or lack of it) was probably an addict - most likely someone who had replaced his alcoholism with something else. But was God still working?

It is hard to discern the rightness or otherwise of religiously motivated behaviour. There are so many issues, of authority, of belief, of commitment. It would be nice to be able to stand back - but where can I stand? If I remove myself entirely, then I have to become an atheist.

As it happened ...

... I quite liked the plastic Peter, and he came with a rather nice unfolding backdrop, complete with a unicorn to sit on. And we enjoyed "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". Son is watching a video of a cartoon version, rather older. Then we go to Musselburgh, to shop!

Christmas, or Xmas

I'm sure that it was CS Lewis who argued that there were two festivals - Christmas (literally, Christ Mass), and Xmas. I think that he would have identified Xmas with the orgy of buying which tends to happen hereabouts at this time of year. I'm just trying to work out just what he would have thought of plastic representations of his characters being included in Happy Meals.

Radio 3 be thanked - JS Bach also seems to have had a 'high' view of Christmas.

And congratulations to our youth worker, who this morning tried to fashion a sermon out of references to the presents received by congregational children - I think that our influence was fairly positive - a Baby Born, and a Power Rangers Dino Thunder morpher. Not so warm feelings towards Channel 4, who in Christmas Eve broadcast "A Christmas Carol", but then announced that on Christmas Day they were going to ask "Where was God" when the tsunami struck. What I don't understand is how, in the States, it can be decided that God wasn't responsible for biodiversity, but, somehow, he is to be blamed for the tsunami.

Next year

Some time ago, I signed up on a website for people making pledges (I forget what it was called). Somebody was challenging a certain number of people to read through the New Testament. I have done this once already (in 1976 - 1977, using the J B Phillips translation). I was willing to do it again, to encourage the person who had proposed the idea. But not enough people signed up, so the pledge was off.

Our rector wants us to read through the whole bible (Old and New Testaments) in 2006. He wants us to use Hodder's NIV Bible in One Year. But, at this moment, I don't know when the books will arrive. It may be on the 1st January. We shall be visiting my mother for New Year, so shall not be in church to collect the book. I have emailed Hodder to ask them to send me a list of the first few readings, so that I can get started, but as yet they haven't replied.

On the other hand, Tyndale's One Year Bible appears to be well supported on the web, and is available in eReader format. So, I intend to go with this.

Marks and Spencer

We're going to do our pre-Christmas food shop in Marks and Spencer. It may be busy.

Loneliness

There are different kinds of traveller. There are those who travel in groups, companionable; and there are those who travel alone. Perhaps, as the year's turning approaches, I need to acknowledge that I belong in the latter category. Maybe it has to do with the way that I relate to people - always trying to help, not good at accepting help - in a group I always seem to be the loser.

Well, say something, then

Don't know if I'm all that excited about flock. It feels a lot like FireFox, with a few extras - like this blog editor - which is nice. Wish it had a 'source' view, though.

To-day is my last working day before Christmas. The children finish school to-day, so I get to take Thursday and Friday off (wife will take two days off in January under a similar pretext). So I really, really want to finish off smoothly. No crises, please.

Impressive

I'm using Flock to post this entry.

200th post

I wish that I could quote verbatim what somebody wrote in Woman Alive (I may do in a future posting). Roughly, it was that perhaps one's eternal future doesn't depend entirely upon whether or not one has signed up at the back of an evangelistic booklet. Turning it upon its head, perhaps it isn't entirely fair for the authors of books exhorting one to evangelise everyone in earshot to suggest that if we don't, these people are destined for a Christless eternity. Maybe God is able to exercise some common sense.

What led me to a similar viewpoint was the following observation. The most vociferous proponents of aggressive evangelisation - what happens when someone close to them dies. Do they say "tough, my dad's gone to Hell". No, strangely, God speaks to them, to say that somehow, their dad (or son) is going to be OK. My father died, about 8 years ago. He was a churchgoer, but not a believer. According to what I've been taught, he is lost. Yet, he had integrity; I would even say goodness. I have had no special word from God to say that he's OK. Instead, I am going to revise my view of the world, and throw out what I was taught, and say that "yes, he is OK". And many, many more are going to be OK. Not because they've been persuaded to sign up to an evangelical manifesto. But, dare I say, because God loves them. As they are.

One Year Bible

Son has a temperature. So, to continue from a previous entry - The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley - the CCLASP Christmas Party will be attended (from this family) by just wife and daughter. Indeed, father and son will miss church (quite glad not to have to cross the picket line again). No update, then, on the rector's plan to get members of the congregation to read through the bible in a year - following Hodder's Bible in a Year, rather than Tyndale's One Year Bible, unfortunately. I say, unfortunately, because there are more additional resources for the latter, such as versions for the Palm. I must admit to mixed feelings about the project - to read through the whole bible in one year, one has to devour too much (in my opinion) in each day - a recipe for spritiual indigestion. So it's difficult to find the 100% enthusiasm required.

Going nowhere

 
And this is what they want to bring back! 

Wee, sleekit, cow'rin', tim'rous beastie, no more

A mouse, probably a fieldmouse, or possibly a vole, had the temerity to nibble some chocolates which wife had stashed in the garage; a trap was duly set last night, and by this morning had claimed its victim.

A word, by the way, on chronology: the entry previous to this one belongs properly earlier in the sequence - the immediate response to a difficult time getting the children to bed.

Order

Trying to get the children to sleep - tonight's order (son's story, SnapShots, daughter's story) wasn't a success. Suggest next time start with SnapShots.

Foam swords

 
Are better than real ones ... 

Substitute

Was wanting to document our staff Christmas lunch, but all of the photographs are of other people (because I took them). So here's a picture of the decoration atop one of my computers. 

No advertising

So Nick Robinson at the BBC has a weblog. But with a reference in the text to "the kind of software employed by millions of weblogs around the world", it would have been courteous surely to have placed a "powered by" link somewhere. But I had to download the RSS .xml file to find that it had been generated by TypePad (not surprisingly).

The ultimate accolade?

Mother Goose included a song by Fischy Music.

Having to decide ...

... which blog/s to update. This one seems perpetually on the back-burner.

Our heating seems to be OK. Thinking that I should write a letter to Scottish Gas to say how much we appreciate the work of their engineers. A setback yesterday morning, when the radiators were still cold-ish - turning the heating off and on brought them to life.

Christmas shopping this evening ...

A cold night

My turn to be at home when the engineer calls; he's replacing a part, which is, I reckon, good news - hopefully the problem will be fixed.

When I looked at the TV yesterday evening, it was a news item about how this was the busiest day of the year for British Gas. Just a wee bit annoyed when the engineer said to a lady whose boiler had broken down - "if you have it regularly serviced, then this won't happen". I can tell you that our boiler is regularly serviced, by Scottish Gas.

Fair enough, though. But why is it that more boilers break down when the weather is coldest?

Still a ragamuffin

It isn't easy to keep journeying on.

It's natural, isn't it, to experience, to some extent, ups and downs. I'm not really talking about mood swings, more just being honest. Life may be a steady climb, but the way that we feel about life seems to have a rhythm of its own. And, when blogging enters the picture, then I have to say that the urge is strongest when feelings are at their lowest. Which is a shame, because anyone reading the blog will think - this person's always down. Not necessarily - perhaps this person blogs when he's down - and just gets on with life when he's up.

Feeling a bit powerless just now because for the second time this week, my wife has had to call Transco because she smells gas, and then she has had to call Scottish Gas to do something about it (it seems that there is a problem with our boiler). Unfortunately, for this to happen once is (sort of) acceptable. Something went wrong, it got fixed, life goes on. But second time around, there is a question - something went wrong, it didn't get fixed, how do we know it will get fixed this time?

Waiting for a haircut

It all depends ...

Still angry, I'm afraid

Thought that I'd try SureFish's daily readings for a week (depending on the availability of time), starting with http://www.surefish.co.uk/faith/daily_readings/08_aug/01.htm.

Looking back

The word 'positive' has figured significantly in my reflections on Thursday's funeral. I was told, as I waited to go in, that the note in the newspaper had said 'no mourning', and began to feel conspicuous in my black tie. The only person who cried was a 6-year-old granddaughter. I think that the feeling was that the person who had died had lived a good life, her final illness had been mercifully brief, and the purpose of the funeral was to say a simple farewell. The service was taken by her most recent minister, who spoke well. It was attended by two other ministers, which I think says something about her genuine support for the church, also that of her husband, who died about two years ago.

Words become inadequate. I apologise if anyone is reading this who knows the people. I tend to use this blog to think aloud, and am not really able to apply the sort of care to what I write which I would like to. There is a rawness to this blog, which means that maybe I shouldn't be putting it somewhere it can be read, except that the whole point is that I am trying to make some of my thinking public.

Weary

Always, but to-day, especially so. Life seems to have taken a downward turn. The Inland Revenue replied to my yearly update regarding Tax Credits that we owe them £700. Horribly mean, especially when they don't tell you how they calculate the result. And last night, a friend phoned to say that a mutual friend had died, and the funeral is this afternoon.

As it happens, the place where the funeral is taking place is not far from where I work, so I'm planning to go. I hate funerals.

I'm listening to the slow movement from Bruckner's 3rd Symphony.

Graffiti - history

I liked Graffiti, as it was implemented on the Palm III and the HandSpring Visor. Each letter had a distinctive shape, loosely based on its paper form. With practice, entering text using Graffiti became fast and reliable. But with PalmOS 5 came Graffiti 2. The letter shapes approximate more closely to how they would be written (in lower case). But on the Tungsten E, the process is unreliable. It seems to work better on my Zire 31, which uses a later version of PalmOS, so maybe the software needed to be fine-tuned.

In an effort to find a way to communicate with my Tungsten E, I installed TealScript, which is a third-party character inputter (for want of a more elegant description). It works better than Graffiti 2, but not, in my opinion, as well as Graffiti. Possibly the problem is with the Tungsten hardware, which seems to desire a firmer hand than I would like to give it.

We do have something I can use, with which, I suppose, I should be content.

Hurrah

I was beginning to think that AvantBlog wasn\'t going to let me log back in. I was reading recently about people who use their Palm-based PDAs (or smartphones) to create blog entries of 1500 words or more. How do they do it?

Anyway - Graffiti - Palms came with it - it was, I reckon, the killer app, because it meant that you could interact with a small device without a keyboard. But it had to be learnt.

To be continued ...

Eye of the storm

Trying to stay calm - detachment.

Explanation

What was supposed to be distinctive about this blog? I would write the entries on my handheld computer - in those days a Handspring Visor - hence the blog\'s title. The Visor has been replaced - I now, mainly, use a palmOne Tungsten E - it has a colour screen, a rechargeable battery, and more modern software. On the whole, though, it isn\'t necessarily better, and I have found myself occasionally sneaking back to my old faithful. Increasingly, though, the older device has had difficulty talking to newer computers (synchronising), and yesterday I decided to retire it.

Perhaps in a subsequent entry I can discuss the mysteries of Graffiti 1 & 2, and TealScript.

Retiring the Visor

The eponymous Visor will have to be retired. Sad (and annoying,
because Graffiti 1 on aged hardware is still, by a significant
margin, the most efficient, and reliable way to enter text
on a Palm-based handheld. But TealScript is better than
Graffiti 2 on my Tungsten E). But the Visor no longer synchronises
reliably.

Irony

I am not good at communicating. In many ways, I am afraid to communicate. I have learned that the easiest way to lose friends is to say what you think, which happens not to be what they think. So, I resort to saying what I think in a blog (some of the time). It doesn't matter if you disagree with me, because I didn't count you among my friends in the first place (except that at least one of you I do count as a friend, and I apologise if what I have written seems unkind). My point is that here I will try to say what I mean - if you can handle this, then please stay.

Still

Thinking of something to write.

Are we there yet?

This entry is being composed on my HandSpring Visor (thanks to AvantBlog). And I can\'t think of anything to write!

Home alone

The family are on holiday - I\'m left behind. A bit sad.

This is exciting

But, sadly, all there is to-day to blog about is reaction to yesterday\'s bombing of London. And how tired I am.

Deeply impressed

But how to edit? Via the forms manager!

Like

This.

It works!

Amazingly. But what happens if I want to write more than one entry between synchronising?

AvantBlog

Maybe this is the way forward. Blogging, and then synchronising

(almost) nobody reads this

So, with apologies, what I write here may not be terribly interesting.

Can't get away from yesterday's events in London. Grief, anger, despair.

Probably a hogweed

Garden 050611 001
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian.

I tried to uproot this plant, but it was too strong. I've cut it down.

Just screaming

Where nobody can hear me.

Proxy blog

IMAG0019
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian.

This is just a staging post, I'm afraid.

Building a PC
0f course, we don't really build the PC - we reinstall the operating system. A watched kettle never boils, they say.

Make Poverty History
Child-friendly? Safe?

Struggling

Through - too much detail ...

Worse than depression

...

Depression

Hard to get away from it ...

Frustration

Splutter ...

Nightmare

Or rather, daymare.

Just checking in
- from mo:Blog

Carberry - through a glass darkly ... 

Admin rights

Possibly a complex issue - but not, I believe, being approached fairly.

Suppose I try to be a bit fairer, and try to work without my normal account having admin rights. Out of the question on my main machine, but theoretically possibly on number two. So, built the machine; logged in - and I'm not an admin. The advice is to set the local administrator password so that people can install programs (etc?). But I don't have sufficient rights to set the admin password. End of experiment.

Using TealScript
It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon; I'm trying to use TealScript to compose an entry. It's slow(ish), but less prone than Graffiti 2 to produce gibberish. I could find myself liking it.

A day on the desk

Blogging my work - how do I do it? On two levels - the technical (which, of course, doesn't appear here) - and the personal (which would be out of place in a technical journal).

It's 09:51 on a Tuesday morning. Tuesdays, I'm on the desk (a helpdesk - providing answers (!) to computing questions) all day. It's a hard slog, but it gets it over with.

Spitfire

DSCF0013_edited
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian.

A lovely aeroplane - fearsome at the same time ...

A long haul

Just spent two days solid on the help desk ...

Dragging myself away

I've worked steadily through to-day - trying mostly to tidy up - so that when another push comes, I'm ready. I know that I haven't 'done' much - but I think that I have - really.

Getting organised

Although improving the organisation doesn't show an obvious return in terms of people 'done', it has to be done, and makes me feel better.

Checking in

Spent the morning rebuilding my PC. Profile problems may have really been PC problems.

Trying to count the disasters

Hannah caught Matthew's hand in the shower door. I am tired, and angry, and I have to be up at 5:45 to-morrow morning. I am trying to make a habit of talking to God every evening before I go to bed, but I am too tired, and angry, to pray.

Rose

Rose
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian.

Taking time off from mowing the lawn to let the world see how pretty is our garden ...

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Just for the record

I suspect that Google Gulp (http://www.google.co.uk/googlegulp/) is an April Fool.

Let's start blogging again

Quick and simple - brief thoughts.