Easter

I've been ironing Hama Beads (I searched for a suitable link, but I can only find people who sell them). Contrary to the forecast, the sun is shining. The visiting cat prefers to stay indoors, however - I guess that it's still cold outside.

Of course, Easter was last week-end, but with it coming so early this year, the children are still on holiday. Life still feels like a struggle to keep our heads above water - it's difficult to think of anything positive to report. We're having new windows and doors fitted, in about 10 days' time. In preparation, the computer has been moved - it now resides in what feels like a good location - the landing in this house has an open space which is like an extra room. And my wife says that she's been sleeping better since the computer was moved upstairs - I wonder if the gentle swishing sound of the fan could be soporific. But it's more difficult for me - my desk is still downstairs - it used to be easy for me to swing round from my desk to the computer whenever something needed to be recorded electronically.

But I am enjoying the more open, brighter space. I guess that this arrangement will stay.

Spring - imminent?

I can't think where I got that idea! It's been so bitterly cold ...

It's been a long week

But to-day did feel as though spring might not be too far away ...

Despatches

In a crowded hall, waiting for the concert to start, my knees cold because my jeans are wet - I had to change a (car) wheel because of a flat tyre ...

But eagerly anticipating a feast of music ...

We're expecting gales

The south and southwest of the UK have been experiencing severe weather, which is reported to be on its way northwards and eastwards.

I wouldn't call this a self portrait, would you?

You can tell that I'm struggling with the 365 Days project when I say that I seriously considering making this to-day's offering.

If to-day hadn't been Friday, I don't know what I would have done

I just had to keep pushing myself, every step of the way.

The break point is never far away

I suppose that from the outside, my continual angst doesn't make sense. Yes, as I drove home this evening, if I had misjudged my position on the road at the wrong moment, I could have been involved in a head-on collision, and be in no state to be writing this. It feels as though we are living on the edge, but I don't suppose that we are.

Tummy bug

A day at home, never far from a toilet ...

I just wish that I could reach a place where, even just for a while, everything that needs to have been done has been done, and I can just relax. Now, I relax at times, when I have to, but just to recuperate, so that I can get back to catching up - always catching up.

God smiled at me!

He was standing on his head.

A religious Sunday

I've been to church twice to-day, and we (the children and I) went swimming this afternoon, so it's been a pretty full day.

Flaming Nora

We were at a ceilidh last night. The band was Flaming Nora; the event was a fundraiser for Fischy Music.

Sunset

Through the window of a number 30 bus

Strange Sunset

Still looking out for spring

But, of course, we are still in the middle of February; I shouldn't have been surprised by the cold fog which engulfed us this morning and this evening.

Winding down

I gave the third of three presentations this afternoon. As I've just said to my wife, it has seemed for the past three weeks or so that my life has been on hold. I wonder just to what extent my physical debility has had a psychological component.

So I'm picking up the threads. To-morrow morning, the surveyor comes to measure up for the new doors and windows we've ordered. To-day, I picked up the car after it had passed (with some work) another MoT. And to-morrow, of course, is St Valentine's Day.

An official birthday

Actually, I think that having a birthday in early February is good - anything that cheers us up at this time of year has to be welcome. But I reckon that the real star of these days has to be the humble snowdrop - what better sign of hope than this?

Tenacity

Thank you for your wishes; unfortunately, this virus which won't go away turned my birthday into something of a non-event. The battle continues ...

But my son, kindly, gathered some of his toys which he knew that I enjoy playing with, and gave me them as a present. Wonderful.

It's my birthday

Unfortunately, the virus which I thought I'd seen the last of is still bothering me. It's becoming a family tradition. Nine months ago, our daughter endured her birthday meal feeling rotten. Yesterday evening was my turn, although the meal was pleasant.

To-day is my actual birthday.

Whatever my mental state

Portobello Town Hall
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian

I hope that I can show you an interesting photo.

Surely spring is just around the corner

I took this picture this morning:

And yesterday's presentation - I was pleased to see, in the lecture theatre, that the lectern was brick (or possibly concrete) - I could have sheltered behind it if there had been trouble - in fact, someone in the audience admitted that they were giving us a hard time ...

I'm not cut out for this

To-morrow, I have to stand at the front of a lecture theatre, and give a presentation. Essentially, it's the same spiel as I gave two weeks ago, but the venue is daunting, being a proper lecture theatre. Also, having to talk with academics frightens me, especially this particular group, as the department where I used to work (18 years ago) is part of this school. There will be people in the audience alongside whom I used to work.

I have to go through with it, but I wonder if I shall ever be in control of my life, able to say, "no," to things which I really don't want to do.

We've been swimming

A notable day, on at least two counts. This morning, for the first time, I was helping with the Sunday School at our local parish church. And this afternoon, while my wife was visiting her mother, the children and I went swimming. Of course, I have swum before, but this particular arrangement is new, and worked well.

Crisis mode

Can't really say why.

Bleurgh!

Just when I thought that I was on the mend, the virus doubles back and wallops me from behind.

Catching up

Back at work to-day; spent the day catching up. If I'd been off any longer, I'm not sure that it would have been worth going back - I'd never have caught up!

Rain

It's been raining for most of to-day. The visiting cat was especially grateful this morning for some warmth, and to be in the dry. I reckon that I'll be at work to-morrow, although I felt dizzy while walking the aisles at the local store.

The dreaded lurgy

This is where I'm glad that I didn't sign up for Blog 365. I've been laid low, presumably by the same bug which caused our son to be off school for two days. I'm more or less back on my feet now, although I have to move slowly, otherwise I feel as if I'm about to keel over.

A convoy

A convoy
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian

There's a bus theme running through my 365 Days photos on flickr, so I thought that I could appropriately post an old picture (I took) of a couple of 26's. Last year's panto (in the Brunton Theatre - just behind me when I took this photo) included a brilliant gag referring to the hearts on these buses (you can just see part of one in the top left hand corner of the picture). I'm not sure that I can capture the humour - you had to be there ...

I don't know what to do

But right now, I guess that I should go to bed, and try to get some sleep.

Performance

The chap I share an office with is a musician; as I tried to get back down to earth this afternoon we talked about performance - the enabling adrenalin rush - I was saying that to give this morning's presentation I had to become a different person. Which is OK, provided that I can find the space now to put myself back together again. It doesn't help that my wife and I were up half last night cleaning up after our son, who was sick.

Up to high doh

To-morrow I have to give a presentation at work; I'm anxious; I don't know how it will go. It's difficult to think about anything else.

Oh, yes we did

The last performance of the season - panto at the Kings Theatre, Edinburgh. It's not often that pantomime packs an emotional punch, but this one did. You know the rules - the handsome guy gets the girl - well, not this time - the clown got the girl (and the circus). I'm trying not to spoil it for you, so I'm not telling you the title. So there!

There seems to be a world shortage of sonic screwdrivers

At least, neither Toys R Us nor Woolworths had any; in the end, we settled for a Judoon trooper figure.

Yes, Karin, it's that time of year when winter seems to be going on and on for ever; I'm longing for the first snowdrop; and hoping again that you're feeling better.

I don't seem to be winning

Even a boxer gets a rest between rounds. But come Friday, and I just exchange one fight for another.

Defensive

I've been thinking about the various references in this blog, direct and indirect, to the imbibing of alcoholic drinks. I do drink wine, beer, and whisky (not all at once). I try to keep my consumption within the recommended guidelines. Sometimes I drink enough to feel 'euphoric'.

I know that for some people, alcohol has to be avoided. And that some people disapprove of the drinking of alcoholic drinks. And that alcohol is implicated in some bad behaviour. And that it is dangerous to drive when under the influence of alcohol.

All that I ask, gentle reader, is, please do not be offended by these references. I do not think of myself as a problem drinker, but that is my perspective. Incidentally, I am writing to-day under the influence of nothing stronger than a mug of tea.

Slainthe!

Wir gettin new windaes

An' new doors! Ah've signed ma name on the dotted line.

We dinna have a lum. The phrase 'lang mae yer lum reek', basically, means 'long may your chimney smoke' - I guess it just means - 'may you prosper'.

But 'dubs' is a word I hadn't come across. Scots Online says that it means 'mud', which is fun. I can guess what 'fou as a puggie' might mean - perhaps not entirely suitable for homework - but, sadly, occasionally an accurate description of this blogger - well, possibly a slight exaggeration ...

The mither tongue

Our daughter has had to compose 10 sentences using Scots words (as homework). I've been having fun, since my mother is a Highlander, I was brought up near Glasgow, and my dad was from London, so dialectically I'm a bit of a mixture.

Lang mae yer lum reek!

Between

Welcome, Ginger Blue, and thank you for commenting.

My wife and I argued, yesterday. It's always hard to recover, to acknowledge that we have differences, and that we have to work through them.

Compensation

This afternoon, I gave blood, and now I'm drinking a glass of wine; they're both red stuff, so it makes sense, doesn't it?

Another busy day

But no time to describe it ...

It was windy, last night

It was windy, last night
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian

The picture says it all ...

The visiting cat

There is a cat which has got into the habit of coming to our door, mewing for food and shelter. Generally, we allow him to come in, give him some scraps to eat, and let him find somewhere comfortable to curl up for a while. But we haven't allowed him to stay the night. It tends to be me who evicts him. We think that he has an owner, so I reckon that the best thing to do is to entice him out with something to eat around the middle of the evening, so if he does decide to go home there will be somebody who can let him in.

It was getting late this evening, and the cat was still in the house. Nobody else seemed to be concerned; I was too tired to do anything subtle, so I picked up the cat and carried him out the back door. His piteous miaow nearly broke my heart, but I didn't let him back into the house. When I opened the door about ten minutes later, he was gone.

I really don't know what to do. I can't believe that he is a genuine stray. So I suppose that my head is now telling me that I did the right thing, but my heart isn't so sure.

First day back at work

Unfortunately, this was one of those days where I ended up with considerably more work to do at the end than I had at the beginning.

Black dog

Back to work, to-morrow; feeling utterly, utterly despondent.

A crazy outing this afternoon - to the beach (well, the sun was shining) - but the picnic came to an abrupt end when our son was clearly suffering in the cold.

Don't blog when drunk

So I'm not blogging ...

A sudden thought

The children and I went swimming this afternoon, unexpectedly. I was thinking that it would be good to do something active - especially with the aim of tiring out our son, who might be more willing then to go to bed when the time comes. Well, it's tired me out ...

Out of the depths

Short, dark days. Always being responsible for children. Unclear about the future. But grateful for mercies, such as the heat in the house being on, although the boiler needs a replacement part.

It could have been worse

As we drove to my mother's to-day, the car started to make an expensive sounding noise. I was thinking that we'd have to leave the car with my mum, and find an alternative means of getting home, but, miraculously, when I took the car for a test drive after lunch, there was no sign of the ominous noise. PTL.

A drab New Year's Day

Of course, staying up until one o'clock this morning probably didn't help; and the rain hasn't stopped; but we meant to get out somewhere, and we didn't.

Royal Museum

Royal Museum
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian

In the National Museum of Scotland, the attraction being a ceilidh, which wife and daughter enjoyed while son and I explored the museum ...

A recuperative day

We even managed an afternoon stroll ...

A long time in the making

Our daughter's main Christmas present last year was a doll's house, or, to be more accurate, a doll's house kit. So far, we've put most of the structure together, and have been fitting a light in each of the rooms. To-day, we went back to the shop (a year later) to ask their advice - how to fit lights in the uppermost rooms without disfiguring the roof; the answer - wall-mounted lights, but they didn't have anything suitable in stock. Never mind, we bought some roofing paper - it looks like slates. We'll go back in a few weeks' time to see about these lights. This house will be complete - eventually.

But I think that we're OK. Even if progress is slow, it's reasonably steady; we didn't manage to do much during the summer, when there was work to be done in the garden. I think that what is good about this project is that every forward step is genuinely progress, and there isn't a deadline, so we can do good work as we go along.

Enchanted

We enjoyed the film; it seemed to be making fun of Shrek, which in turn made fun of the traditional fairy story. It was a clever story, and (to me) a satisfying denouement. But our daughter lost her teddy bear on the way. Grrrrr.

Shock

I struggle to find hope, at any time, especially this time of year, which we are told is a time of hope. There was the Boxing Day tsunami, and to-day we hear of the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. I do not claim to understand politics, but I am always shocked to think that people have plotted to kill someone. To hate someone so much that you are prepared to kill someone; that I find unthinkable. But what do I know of real suffering? And if I blamed an individual for my plight, what would I do?

There is a cat who visits our house. I am uncomfortable about letting him in - surely he has a home to go to. The other day, our son tried to stroke the cat, and the cat scratched him. Not long after, our son had taken his revenge - some complicated action involving giving the cat a fright by arranging for his sister to shout into one toy radio while he, presumably, held the other close to the cat. I guess that it is too soon to try to teach him about loving his enemies, especially as on the whole he is fond of the cat. Perhaps you have to learn 'an eye for an eye' before you can appreciate 'love your enemies'.

I am not complaining

But it would be nice to spend some time not anticipating the next crisis (how many times do you think that I've been interrupted already while trying to write this blog?). But, at least, to-day we did manage out of the house and to the top of Traprain Law.

Thanks to Dr Who

Not so much for becoming essential Christmas viewing, but for giving me an hour's peace while everybody else watches it. I was going to be sociable and join the rest of the family, but with a couple of minutes to go, I decided that I just couldn't. I don't really know why I don't like Dr Who, but I don't, except for the 'wibbly wobbly timey wimey' episode, which wasn't really about him. So I've spent an hour flying (Microsoft Flight Simulator), and here I am, updating my blog.

On the whole, Christmas has been a success. The younger members of the family seem to be happy with their presents; Christmas dinner was enjoyed. I, to be honest, found it hard going. Still, I'm enjoying these few moments of quiet reflection, while the doctor, presumably, saves the world (again).

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian

Not a great photo, but perhaps captures something of the atmosphere of this day, Christmas yet to arrive ...

Get me to the church on time

This morning in church, the Sunday School read a poem and sang a song. Each verse of the poem was read by a different child; each of our children read a verse. It was touch and go whether our son would be there. He was feeling better, but a few crises had to be resolved before we could leave the house. So, I suppose, it was with special satisfaction that I listened to him read.

And, another piece of good news: the slide rule has been found!

How to spend the first day of the holiday

Our son isn't well. A virus, I guess. And I'm tired. But our daughter and I did get out this morning, and we did meet Santa Claus outside the local supermarket. So that's nice.

It's over

Until 2008, that is. Last day at work in 2007. An odd mixture of feelings - now overlaid with too much wine. I've phoned the pizza place; they're busy, not surprisingly; our pizzas should arrive in about half an hour. Too early to wish everyone a Merry Christmas; I expect to blog a few times before the big day. But, in case I don't see you again before the 25th, Merry Christmas!

Icy

Ice
Originally uploaded by Glaswegian

The ice had made weird patterns on the car windscreen this morning.

Good guys or bad guys?

A year ago, I renewed my subscription for the internet security suite sold by a leading antivirus company. In the weeks before renewal, I was bombarded with emails reminding me that my current subscription was 'about to' expire. The only problem with responding to these emails, which I did the year before, was that if, say, you renewed with a month to go, your new year's subscription would start from the day you renewed. Clever, eh? Eleven months for the price of twelve!

In the event, I only persevered with the software for a few weeks. The latest upgrade was just too much for my poor old computer to cope with. Not much point in being fully protected if you can't use your computer because all of its processing power is being consumed by the security suite. I started using a different antivirus program.

Imagine my horror when I received an email from the first antivirus company to say that they had automatically renewed my subscription, charging me £49.99 for the privilege. They still had my credit card details on file, and had, without warning, taken the money. Apparently their change of policy was in response to what customers wanted. A shame that they hadn't bothered to tell this particular customer.

Bottom line - the people who are supposed to be defending us against the bad guys are themselves, not to put to fine a point on it, crooks. By the way, I wouldn't be writing this if they had responded to my emails. I suspect that they deliberately make it difficult for people either to contact them or directly to change aspects of their account.

Consistency

You are waiting at the bus stop. Your bus pulls up, behind another bus which is already at the bus stop, taking on passengers. What do you do? Recently, I walked to my bus, and waved at the driver to let me on. He shook his head at me, as if to say that I had done something naughty. I know, you are supposed to wait at the bus stop for your bus to arrive.

This evening, I saw my bus approaching. Another bus was at the stop, so I waited patiently. My bus disgorged some passengers, then pulled out. Angry, frightened, cold, tired, lonely, I raced after the bus. More in desperation than hope, I kept running to the next stop. As it happened, there was another bus just behind, which would also get me home. If anything, I became more desperate - if I'd waited at the original stop I would have caught this other bus, but now it was ahead of me. God was with me, I suppose, because what followed was entirely fortuitious. The bus which I now wanted to catch switched on its hazard warning lights. Passengers were alighting, and getting on to another bus in front. I arrived, totally out of breath; the driver said, "Don't give yourself a heart attack." I explained that the bus which I'd wanted to catch hadn't waited. Thankfully, this driver was kindly, and pointed out that I would still get to my destination.

So, what should I do in future? Walk along to my bus, and risk being told off? Or wait, and risk being left at the bus stop?

Warmth

It's just so lovely to have heating again!

Old age

It's the only explanation I can come up with. A few weeks ago, we brought home some stuff from my parents' old house, including a rather magnificent slide rule. It must be about 4 feet long; it lay on my desk until (I think) yesterday, when I tried to find a home for it.

This evening, I was helping our daughter with her homework, when I suddenly realised that the perfect tool for doing the sums we were trying to do was - a slide rule. Not that I would expect, in the 21st century, that she should start using a slide rule to do multiplication and division, but that it would be fun to demonstrate another way to crack this particular nut. Sadly, I haven't the faintest idea where I put the treasured object. To quote a family friend, "It moost be soomwhair!" but where, Ah dinna ken! Fortunately, it wasn't the only slide rule in the house. My own slide rule, which I haven't used for 20 or more years, lives in the middle drawer of my desk, but after fishing it out, I thought that it might be nicer for us to use another of Grandad's slide rules, in fact the one I remember him using.

I always feel that there's something magic about a slide rule - the answer seems to appear out of nowhere - it's more magic than a calculator, because there's nothing hidden. Clearly, there's a wee man hiding inside the calculator, doing the sums, but everything about a slide rule is in the open. So this evening's experience was a good one, and I've encouraged our daughter to tell her teacher how she got the answers, maybe even to take Grandad's old slide rule into school (this one is a more manageable length).

But where, oh where is the other slide rule? I've even prayed, desperately - maybe you'll think that it's a silly thing to pray about, when there's so much trouble in the world - but my little faith can just about believe that God will help me to find something - after all, "It moost be soomwhair!"

Christmas movie

The Christmas holidays are an opportunity for our family to go and see a film. I guess that it must have been two years ago that we saw The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. This year I've been thinking of going to see The Golden Compass, but I've just started to read the book, and suspect that I would be irritated by differences between the book and the film (and I've heard that there are some significant ones). So I was interested to watch a review this evening on BBC News 24 of Disney's Enchanted. Then we watched the trailer on apple.com, and everybody seems to be pleased with the idea.

As much as you can eat

To-day the team I work with had our Christmas lunch. We ate in a Chinese buffet restaurant. It was the kind of place where you can eat as much as you want. Last year I ate too much, coming away uncomfortably full. This year, I displayed admirable restraint, but somehow it wasn't as much fun. Ah well, at least I'm not bursting at the seams.

What a difference!

One of my colleagues, who works on another campus, took the trouble to-day to come to my office so that we could work together on a project. We are both attending a meeting to-morrow at which we'll have to make some sort of report. It's been so constructive to talk about things - so often I find myself having to try to make my point in a big meeting in front of senior people, and once I've opened my mouth I wonder if I really have any idea what to say. This time, hopefully, we can back each other up.

Just checking in

These few minutes - the rest of the family in bed - are so precious. I'm tired myself, but just want to close this day; then when to-morrow arrives, it will be a new day - a fresh start.

Toys

On my way home from work this evening, I called into Toys R Us, trying to meet my children's expectations. It was, you may say, a successful visit, though I wonder if I should rather be challenging the underlying philosophy of 'getting things for Christmas'. But then, we, as children, looked forward to unwrapping what Santa had brought (long after we'd ceased to believe in the bearded man from the North Pole).

And then there was a disappointment; a car racing game which our son was given at yesterday's party is no longer working properly - and I don't think that it can be repaired.

Special guest

They're about to sing "Jingle Bells" - I wonder who's expected ...

It's Christmas time, again

I'm just trying to find the energy to go out into the (possibly) drizzle; I need to cut the bottom off the tree (apparently, they paint the bottom (can't think of a better word) of the tree with something so that it doesn't dry out, but it means that the tree can't drink); then, we can bring the tree inside, and put it up (but we have to wait until this evening before we're allowed to start decorating (it)).

We collected our Christmas tree this morning; just one stage of the operation which is Saturday morning; I was glad that Musselburgh wasn't too busy.

Why are children so reluctant to go to bed?

Our children are up early - they have to be - so when it's bedtime, aren't they tired?

I don't remember ever before being so affected by the dark mornings and dark evenings. Maybe because I'm doing the 365 days project on flickr, I'm more conscious of how little daylight we get at this time of year.

Anyway - nearly there, for to-day ...

Does this still work?

My daughter has just vomited; it's just after one o'clock in the morning; I've set up an email client on my PDA; I can't afford an Eee; can you hear me?

Free advice

Toys R Us (UK): don't entrust your delivery to DHL; according to their own website, they collected an item from you on the 22nd of October, and they still haven't got around to delivering it to your customer. As your customer, I emailed you, but you told me to phone DHL, which I have done.

Next time (although I strongly suspect that there isn't going to be a next time), I suggest that you post it.

The nights are fair drawing in

Didn't see much daylight to-day; seemed to lead a sort of nomadic existence, attending a seminar and a meeting without ever getting to my office.

Achievement

Just to say that son is now able to ride his bike (except that now it is dark, so he's inside with his sister watching Shrek the Third). He was upset earlier at the thought that he will now have to wait five days before he gets another chance to ride his bike. I think that I understand.

Maybe I should get myself a bike ... currently, I don't own one.

Shopping is a social skill

To-day, I bought a BMX bike for my son - think of it as an early Christmas present. I wonder if my poor conversational skills (possibly Asperger related) affect my shopping. On this occasion we entered the shop, within a minute had seen the bike we wanted, and within 10 minutes were leaving the shop with the bike in our possession. I suspect that someone more adept would have taken longer, but in the course of doing so would have said and heard things that would have made buyer and seller happier with the process. I have always known, I guess, that I would be a useless haggler. But I'm happy - it's a gorgeous bicycle.

St Andrews Day

This evening we are going to the panto (yes, we are!), so I'm not going to risk failing to blog on this, the last day of NoBloPoMo. Not much has happened yet to-day, but on St Andrews Day I don't think that I can do better than to link to this excellent poster.

It nearly fell apart

Just as we were about to leave the house this morning, my son announced that his foot was sore; indeed he was rolling on the floor, apparently unable to walk. After a day at home yesterday, I really wanted to get to work this morning, but if he had somehow injured his foot I would have to stay at home. Getting an appointment to-day to see the doctor at our local surgery would be difficult, to say the least. After losing it for a few moments (mainly because every course of action I could think of would be criticised by somebody), I decided to take him to Accident and Emergency at the children's hospital in Edinburgh.

As we pulled out of the town (on the outskirts of Edinburgh) where we live, he announced that his foot was feeling better. Relieved, I turned around, and was able to get him to school on time.

On this occasion, a satisfactory resolution was achieved, but it is sad that I find myself balancing the requirements of my job against the welfare of my son.

On a more positive note - when I had a minute to myself, I prayed to God for help - that prayer was answered.

Statistically likely

Blogging every day in November, I shouldn't be surprised that on one of those days I'm feeling less than 100%. Pass the tissues, please ...

Shuttle service

Unusually, I drove to work to-day; then I came home to pick up our daughter who had to be taken to the hospital for an injection. The hospital isn't far from where I work, so it was strange to be making more or less the same journey twice in each direction. It went OK - she's a real trouper!

Poachers and gamekeepers

My day job requires me to spend at least some time each week on a helpdesk, so I have some idea of how it feels to be the person whom people get angry with when things don't work. But as a customer, I am still frustrated, and, yes, angry, when I am looking for assistance, and for some reason the answer isn't particularly helpful. I try not to be angry with the person on the other end of the phone, however ...

Too much information

To tell to-day's story properly, I would have to tell you too much. So I shall be vague.

But first, thanks for the comment. I am rather conscious that it can be difficult to make and keep friends. Son and I will just have to do our best to negotiate the minefield ...

It was my wife's turn to go to church to-day (I'm sure that I've referred somewhere to the fact that on Sunday mornings one of us goes with our daughter to church while the other stays at home with our son), but when we were told last week the name of to-day's preacher I thought that it might be someone I met years ago, so I went for the second week in a row. It wasn't; it was someone else of the same name - which isn't entirely surprising, especially when there are a disproportionate number of people with this surname in the ministry of the Church of Scotland - and I believe that many of them are related. I'm sure it was for the best - I particularly enjoyed singing "Mine eyes have seen the glory", which was the closing hymn.

An adventure

I've felt for a while that our son gets a raw deal on Saturdays. Our daughter goes to a ballet class in the morning, and a drama class at lunchtime, and the day tends to be structured around getting her to her classes. Our son generally elects to be at home when he can, and when I'm at home I'm generally trying to catch up on stuff that's on my desk. I feel that I should be spending time with my boy, but it really isn't happening.

So when one of his friends wanted to come round, I was inclined to be sympathetic. But my wife doesn't want visiting children in the house, so it seemed that it just wasn't going to happen. Then I thought of taking the two of them (our son and his friend) out for lunch at Luca's, which is what we did to-day. I think that it went reasonably well.

I'm getting better

A diagnosis may be a long way off - indeed may never happen - but as a working hypothesis, the idea that I could be further along the spectrum towards Asperger's Syndrome than most people has helped me enormously. I can allow myself to be meticulous - I can be patient with myself - I can allow myself to worry at a problem until I've solved it - recognising that in some circumstances it can be a strength.

And not blame myself for my weaknesses ...

Hidden treasure

The events of to-day haven't been particularly bloggable, although I did have the privilege of talking to a Professor of Algebraic Surgery, so instead I offer you a crop of a picture I took on Sunday, of a stained glass window.

How naive!

I thought that having paid Scottish Gas for plumbing and drains cover I could ask them to come and fix a dripping tap, but no, I was wrong, and have been advised by the lady who answered the phone that I should fix it myself.

Two doctors for the price of one

Not actually, of course - I realise that we in this country are incredibly fortunate that we can go to see the doctor without having to think how much it will cost. But in the course of to-day, I have seen two doctors.

The first doctor was a community health practitioner; our daughter has a yearly appointment. I suspect that the person doing the job stays in post for just one year, because we have never seen the same doctor two years running. I was surprised on this occasion that the lady was not as young (shall we say) as those we are accustomed to. I have always assumed that this role tends to be filled by a junior doctor on his or her way to better things. We had a reasonably constructive time. At one point we were asked whether our daughter sees any hospital doctors, and took great pleasure in reeling off a list of the consultants she sees regularly.

This afternoon, I saw a doctor about me. I've been particularly anxious about this consultation, as I am hoping that it could be the start of finding some much needed help. As the doctor this afternoon repeatedly reminded me, I have a history of what would probably be classed as mental illness. Indeed, on one occasion I was 'admitted under section', which means, basically, that I was locked up in a psychiatric hospital whether I liked it or not. Recently, I have begun to wonder if the root cause of my problems could be something called Asperger's Syndrome, an Autistic Spectrum Disorder which, to be fair on those treating me in the seventies and eighties has, I gather, only been widely known about for the past twenty years.

The outcome of the session was that I have been referred to a psychiatrist. My GP told me to be patient, by which I guess that he was letting me know that I might have a while to wait.

I nearly forgot

To write an entry for to-day. To-morrow will be a significant day, one way or another. I'm seeing my GP (general practitioner - i.e. doctor) about something which I've been thinking a lot about over the past week or so.

A blank sheet of paper

A grey day, but not a bad one ... a rainy Sunday afternoon (only it wasn't all that rainy) ... a chance to make some progress on a doll's house which my daughter and I are putting together ...

How (not) to say 'no'

Why do supermarkets sell DVDs? It's a kind of modern minefield. You go out, the kids tagging along, to do the weekly grocery shop, and your child asks - since we're going to Tesco, can we buy 'Fantastic Four - the Rise of the Silver Surfer'? (I thought that I was a silver surfer ...) You say - no, not this time - and, lo, you have an extremely distressed child.

Three cheers for Pudsey!

This evening, we have the charityfest known as Children in Need

Scraping the barrel

It's nearly bedtime, and I have nothing to write.

Drudgery

I really can't think of anything interesting to write about to-day. Unless you want to know how I surfed the buses to work and home again; or how I dealt with work to-day.

My wife is out seeing our children's teachers. Hopefully, the feedback will be good; although our son has recently sent me a couple of text messages to say that he doesn't like school. He's just 7 years old. I'm at home with the children; they're watching a video of Toy Story 2.

A do-it-yourself breakfast

This morning, I had breakfast in Asda Walmart. I continue to be amused at what they do if you want a sausage roll and a coffee. They ask you to pick up a roll, still wrapped in cellophane. They give you two sausages on a plate. At the checkout, you pick up two packets of butter, and an empty mug. Having paid, you take the mug to the coffee machine, and pour yourself a coffee. It's just that in other places, what you get at the checkout is a sausage roll and a coffee.

I can only guess that they have calculated the saving in making the customer do the work, and have decided that it is worth their while.

A possible diagnosis

To-day, I made a discovery - or it could be my imagination. Unfortunately, until I am a bit clearer in my own mind, I can't say very much.

Confronting the darkness

To-day, of course, was Remembrance Day. Our girl is in the Girl Guides, and our boy is in the Beavers. Both were parading this day - a day which, thankfully, was bright and clear, made bitterly cold by a north wind. There was a short service to accompany the laying of wreaths at the war memorial, and then we proceeded to the parish church, which is the church that we normally go to (except that normally our son doesn't want to go, so one of us stays at home with him while the other goes with our daughter to church).

I observed the words on the lectern fall as we waited for people to file out of church. It was something like 'light in the darkness', and there was a bible reference, possibly 1 John 1:6. I feel that there is a lot of darkness surrounding us these days, so much darkness that the light struggles to survive. Perhaps I should take heart, though, from this morning's self portrait, taken as I faced the morning light. And remember, from the bible, John 1:5 (ESV):

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

Not enough hours in the day

I did get more sleep than I would normally have done; but to-day I have worn myself out just trying to catch up with stuff on my desk. I've felt that I'm not doing the right thing by my son, who has been at home with me for most of the day, but this stuff - bills, accounts, correspondence - has to be dealt with.

And I've just found out that our mobile phone provider has been overcharging my wife - at least that's how it looks.